Yamada Ryosuke & Chinen Yuri
Yamada x Chinen
Stupid antics abound, this is borderline crack, the Yamadas vs Okajima!, okajima is alive and well!, Fluffy, romance, discovery, slice of life, marriage, domestic
June 1, 2018
Ryosuke had been the last one to arrive at the cabin after rehearsals, having stayed a little later to perfect a few of the moves he was struggling with. The other boys were all lounging around the living room–having already showered and looked to be utterly relaxed.
He was a little jealous. When they’d told them they were being taken on a trip–they’d all been excited–especially when they saw the place they’d be staying. Neighboring cabins for 7 and BEST–all the amenities and a view to die for.
That was great, but they’d spent a grand total of five point three seconds in the cabin as they’d done the ole bait and switch on them–made them think they were going on a nice little retreat–when in fact, they were going to their main choreographer’s hometown because she was unable to travel thanks to her personal schedule.
“Whatever,” Ryosuke huffed, not acknowledging the others as he walked through the room and down the hallway to the bathroom to take a shower.
He’d just stepped under the steaming stream of water, adjusting the curtain to hold in the heat, when someone knocked on the door.
“Can we come in, I was going to trim Keito’s hair,” Yuri called out.
“Fine,” Ryosuke shook his head, not particularly caring one way or the other as long as he got to stay in the shower until all of the hot water either melted away his stress or went cold–either way, “Just hurry up!”
He heard them open the door and come into the room, a flurry of noises as they prepared whatever it would take to do whatever they intended to do, Ryosuke just closed his eyes, focusing on the sound of the water, on the heat running down his shoulders, on the imagery of the stress flowing out of him into the water and down the drain.
“Don’t cut my ear,” Keito spoke softly, his voice laced with concern.
“I won’t,” Yuri responded tersely, “I’m not stupid.”
“He didn’t say you were stupid,” Yuto shook his head, “He just remembers what you did to me–flashbacks from all the blood, I think.”
“We’re never not going to bring that up are we?”
“I needed thirty stitches,” Yuto deadpanned.
“You needed twelve stitches,” Yuri corrected him immediately, “AND I said I was sorry!”
“I stopped counting after ten, to be honest,” Yuto shrugged, “Go on then.”
“I’m not doing it while you watch me,” Yuri raised an eyebrow.
“For fuck’s sake!” Ryosuke cried out from within the shower, “Just cut his hair and get out!”
“Someone’s a little snippy,” Yuri bobbled his head back and forth, making a ‘whatever’ kind of face at the others who all muffled their laughter.
“You’re ruining my shower with your stupid bickering, just cut his hair and get out!“
“Fine, geez,” Yuri turned, wetting the bottom of Keito’s hair and then carefully trimming it…slowly, to be sure he didn’t have any mishaps like before.
He sat the bits of hair he cut off on the counter, the entire time they spent talking about it taking far longer than the process itself.
“What a jerk!” Yuto mouthed to the mirror where Keito and Yuri were looking at him.
“Right?” Yuri agreed silently.
“C’mon guys?” Keito shrugged, his eyes imploring them to give Yama-chan a break–he’d worked really hard after all.
Yuto saw the plan forming, as it took root within Yuri because his entire countenance changed, slowly morphing from the seemingly innocent baby Chiibi they all knew into the devious mastermind who would rule the world if he ever channeled the energy into something useful.
Yuri gestured for Keito and Yuto to move toward the door, urging them to be quiet, as he leaned over and opened the lid to the toilet, rolling his hand as he pointed to the doorknob, imitating opening and closing it.
Keito was hoping to get out of the room before whatever was going to happen was going to happen but Yuto shoved him backward, shaking his head, and then he opened the door and closed it quickly.
Then they waited.
“Thank God,” Ryosuke sighed, letting himself relax again…closing his eyes as he tilted his head down, letting the water flow against his tense muscles.
Yuri’s smile grew wider, and Keito’s frown deepened, Yuto began to tremble with nervous energy, nodding quickly for Yuri to do it.
Yuri dropped the hair into the toilet that he’d cut from Keito’s hair, and then, slowly as if the whole world were meaning to stand still for this one single moment–he pushed the button and then darted across the room into Yuto’s arms to catch him from slamming into the door.
There was exactly five seconds of silence before mass chaos ensued.
Ryosuke’s eyes popped open when he heard the noise, his head jerking to the side, the word ‘no’ beginning to form on his lips but morphing into an ear piercing screech before he could finish it as the water instantly turned to ice.
“Jes–what th–fu–” a slurry of unfinished words flew into the air as he jerked forward trying to move away from the freezing water, his elbow slamming into the soap holder mounted on the wall of the shower, hitting his not-so-funny bone, causing him to scream louder, his foot skidding across the floor of the tub as he lost his balance, spinning around, his hands flailing every direction as he tried to regain his balance.
“I’m going to kill yo—” he careened off the side of the tub and spun outward toward the shower curtain, his hands grabbing onto it as he started to fall.
The curtain held…for three seconds, before the sound of the metal pole being stressed filled the air and the hooks that were holding it up began to snap one by one with a pop, Ryosuke’s eyes clenched shut as he realized what was happening, his focus one of self-preservation so he couldn’t hear the raucous laughter from the other side of the room as he was far too intent on not dying from either falling or the freezing water, or possibly both.
The last hook gave way and he tumbled over the edge of the tub, the curtain tangled around him as he narrowly missed the toilet, his feet still hanging on the edge of the tub, somehow having spun the shower head in the chaos which resulted in the water spattering onto him outside the tub at this point.
“I COULD HAVE DIED!” he screamed, his eyes blinking as he tried to assess his body to ensure he hadn’t broken anything.
He turned his head to see the three boys in a heaped mass on the floor, tears streaming down their faces as they tried to catch their breath from laughing so hard.
“WHAT THE HELL!? DON’T FLUSH THE TOILET WHEN I’M IN THE SHOWER!”
This just made the three laugh harder, to which Ryosuke began to attempt to unwrap himself from the shower curtain, intent on inflicting bodily harm on all three of them when he managed to get to his feet.
The boys scrambled to stand up, rushing to get out of the bathroom before Ryosuke could get up, slamming the door shut and nearly knocking each other down as they attempted to get out of the house to go next door so that BEST could protect them from Ryosuke’s wrath.
They had just reached the front door when Ryosuke flung the bathroom door open, bellowing down the hall, “YOU HAVE TO SLEEP SOMETIME! I’LL BE WAITING!”
And thus began the reason the other three members of 7 continue to this day to sleep in shifts when Ryosuke is with them.
June 4, 2018
Yuto and Keito forced Yuri to enter the cabin first, convinced that he would be afforded a level of protection from Ryosuke’s wrath based on the their relationship alone.
Yuri tried to get away from them, his voice low, “He will torture me,” he pushed between the two of them, but his size left him at a distinct disadvantage against their brute strength combined.
“Fine, fine!” Yuri hissed, slapping at their hands as they turned him toward the door, shoving him forward as he jerked away from them, “I’m going!”
“I don’t know what you’re afraid of,” Keito whispered, “He loves you, he’s going to do something horrible to me…”
“I’ll protect you,” Yuto murmured, grabbing Keito and dragging him into his side, kissing his cheek softly.
“Would you two shut the hell up?” Yuri snapped, twisting to glare at them, “I am trying to listen to see if he’s waiting on the other side of the door!”
He turned back, pressing his ear against the door again, which made Yuto and Keito snicker because neither of them were convinced he would be able to hear much of anything over the sound of nature around them.
After a few minutes Yuto lost his patience, releasing Keito who blinked rapidly as he watched him shove Yuri out of the way, grabbing the doorknob and jerking the door open quickly as he ducked behind it.
Yuri screeched, scrambling to the side as Keito stood still, eyes wide as he froze in place.
When nothing happened after thirty seconds, Yuto leaned around the edge of the door, “Huh…he’s not waiting…”
“Yo–you…you two…” Keito couldn’t piece together his thoughts as they raced, “I would have died.”
“Better you than me,” Yuri shrugged as he crept slowly into the house.
Keito’s eyes snapped over to Yuto, “You were going to let him do horrib–”
“I wasn’t,” Yuto’s voice was soft and sweet, “I would have taken care of you, I was going to attack from behind!”
“You…” Keito seemed unconvinced, “You were going to…”
“Uh-huh,” Yuto nodded, “I would have had the element of surprise while you distracted him.”
“I see…” Keito wasn’t entirely sure he did see but he trusted Yuto, “How about…you tell me the plan next time, ‘kay?”
“I promise,” Yuto grinned, grabbing his hand as he drug him toward the door, “Let’s go.”
They entered the dark cabin, the faint light from the moon casting shadows around the space, as they tiptoed quietly, closing the door carefully.
“Chii-chan?” Yuto whispered, his free hand waving in the darkness in front of him.
“You have your cellphone?” Yuto tugged on Keito’s hand.
“Uh-uh,” Keito whispered, “Sorry.”
“Chii-chan?” Yuto tried again, “Where are you?”
Yuto squealed loudly when Yuri tapped his arm, “He’s not in here.”
“Oh my God!” Yuto screeched, causing Keito to jump and Yuri to slap his hand over his mouth, standing on his tippy-toes as Yuto continued to complain about him scaring him to death.
“Shhhh!!!” Yuri hissed, “He’s in the house, just not in this room, you dummy!”
Yuto nodded his head, trying to talk but unable to thanks to the hands over his mouth.
Yuri released his hands, Yuto speaking quickly, “How do you know he’s inside the house?”
They all blinked as Yuri lit up the light on his cellphone, casting it over by the door, “His shoes are by the door,” Yuri shrugged, “There’s too many insects and creepy things out there for him to leave without his shoes–in particular, frogs.”
Yuto hummed in understanding, “Should we…”
“Yeah,” Yuri nodded, as they made their way slowly through the house, eliminating one by one the rooms until the last room was their bedroom, a relatively spacious room with bunk beds in it for the four of them.
“We could sleep in the living room,” Keito suggested, gesturing down the hallway, “Since…Best said we couldn’t stay over there…”
“You know I can’t sleep on couches, it kills my back,” Yuto pulled Keito’s hand by his pinkie, “Don’t worry, I won’t make you handle this.”
“Alright,” Keito nodded, trusting him implicitly.
“Are you two done?” Yuri had been staring at them during the interaction, his patience nearing its limit, “…or should we go ahead and plan the wedding while we’re waiting to die?”
“Wedding?” Keito’s head drew back, and Yuto narrowed his eyes at Yuri.
“You’re skating on thin ice, Chii-chan,” Yuto snapped at him.
“What are you going to do ab–”
Before the words could come out of his mouth, Yuto had jumped forward, grabbing Yuri around his waist as he jerked the door open, throwing him into the room and then slamming the door shut, holding the knob as he leaned backward away from the door with all his weight while Yuri was freaking out inside the room trying to get back out of the room with all of his strength.
“You’re a horrible human being,” Keito crossed his arms, watching as Yuto wedged his feet against the edge of the wall to make sure he didn’t lose his leverage.
“You’ll thank me, trust me,” Yuto smiled innocently, “Plus, you love me and you know it.”
“I do…” Keito admitted, “But you’re still a horrible human being.”
“Well, that says more about you than it does me,” Yuto shrugged, turning his attention back to the door and the silence from the other side.
Yuri had tried everything short of climbing the wall to get out of the room, but he knew it was impossible, Yuto was clearly not letting him out, and he was surely banking on his ability to sweet talk Ryosuke to save his life.
Yuri froze when he heard Ryosuke’s sleepy voice in the dark, “What the hell are you guys doing?”
“Umm…where are you?” Yuri whispered, trying to gain his bearings in the dark room.
“In my bed,” Ryosuke responded, sitting up on his elbows so he could look across the room at where Yuri was pressed up against the door like he was waiting for the firing squad, “What are you doing?”
“Are you mad?” Yuri’s fingers clenched the doorknob, knowing it was futile but at least he’d try to get away.
“No,” Ryosuke laughed softly, “I’m tired, get in here and go to bed already.”
“Is this a trick?” Yuri tipped his chin up, his eyes adjusting to the dark finally.
“Wh–Chiisana–for the love of all things good and holy, get your ass in bed and tell those two dummies to do the same!”
“Huh,” Yuri narrowed his eyes, confused because he knew that Ryosuke wasn’t one to just give up so easily…and still, his voice was sincere, there was no hint of falseness within it.
He turned, tapping on the door, “He’s fine, open the door.”
“Should we believe him?” Keito whispered, stopping Yuto when he started to release the door.
“What?” Yuto asked, confused.
“What if…What if Yama-chan got to him, and it’s a trick?”
“When did you start thinking so deviously?” Yuto’s eyes were wide, then he grinned mischievously, “I like it!”
“Shut up!” Keito laughed shoving him with his hip, “I’m serious.”
Yuto stood up, turning to face Keito as he smiled, “Oh, believe me, so am I.”
He’d just taken a step forward when the door flew open, both of their heads turning to stare at Yuri who had a look on his face like he’d just taken a drink of something sour.
“GOD!” he threw his hands up, “Could you two just…not!”
Yuto laughed, walking into the room with Keito following him, “Listen, we put up with the two of you doing your weird mating dance for like eighteen years or something…so you can just simmer down about us.”
“We’ve been married for three years,” Ryosuke called out, “But we’ll round up to eighteen.”
“That’s nice,” Yuto shook his head as he made his way over to his bed, watching as Yuri stood up on the edge of his bed to reach the top bunk where Ryosuke was.
“Are you really not mad?” Yuri whispered softly.
“I’m not mad,” Ryosuke confirmed, “Now…go to sleep.”
“It feels like you’re mad…”
“Ree,” Ryosuke shifted backward until his back hit the wall, “I’m not mad, see?”
Yuri bounced once on the bed and then he’d swung himself up onto the top bunk, taking the proffered space that Ryosuke had made for him as he put his feet down under the covers, nestling in against his chest as he whispered, “I’m sorry, I’m glad you didn’t die.”
Yuto had his eyes narrowed, something feeling off…decidedly off about the entire situation, glancing to the side when Keito kissed his cheek before he began climbing up into his bunk, then waving him off as he tried to see into the top bunk across from them.
“Huh,” he shook his head, confused as he sat down on the bottom bunk, reaching across the bed to grab the edge of the blanket, then patting the surface of the mattress in confusion.
“Where are my sheets?” Keito asked to no one in particular, “And…my blankets and pillows?”
Yuto twisted around, his hands flying across his bed and finding nothing, his eyes widening as he stood up, “What did you do, Ryosuke!?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ryosuke answered with a smile in his voice.
“Oh, I think you do!” Yuto snapped, storming across the room to flip on the light, everyone groaning and protesting as they covered their eyes.
Yuto blinked at his bed which had been stripped completely of everything, his eyes moving around the room looking for his bedding, “What did you do with it?”
He turned, moving toward the other side of the room to insist on Ryosuke telling him where his bedding was when he heard Ryosuke say ‘NOW!’ and he was suddenly bouncing backward as a pillow struck him with great force straight to the face.
Within seconds, another pillow had smacked him in the head, and he heard Keito screech from behind him, the bed making squeaking sounds as he tried to get down from the bunk.
There was a flurry of activity as pillows continued to fly, twisting his body, trying to avoid them, one of the couch cushions slamming into his head as he jerked sideways, “CHINEN! What the hell!”
He glanced back as a pillow flew across the space from behind him, finding Keito grabbing another pillow off the floor to launch toward the top bunk where Ryosuke and Yuri were sitting on an army’s worth of ammunition in the form of every single pillow or pillow-like material within the cabin. Yuto was pretty sure Ryosuke had raided their luggage and spent the entire time they were next door tying all of their clothes into missiles.
“You guys are su–” another pillow slammed into his face, his his hands grabbing it as he instantly pulled back to throw it back at them, “–ch CHEATERS!”
He flung the pillow, dodging to the side to avoid the one that Ryosuke had just sent flailing through the air, his voice laced with humor, “No, we’re coordinated!”
Yuto grabbed the desk chair, hiding behind it as a volley of pillows came crashing down around him, his fingers grabbing the edge of one desperately as he launched it back toward them.
“And I have to live with him,” Yuri admitted as he threw another pillow at Yuto, “So…you know…”
“And you love me,” Ryosuke finished, throwing a large cushion directly at Keito’s head.
“Well, yes…there’s that…I certainly do…” Yuri conceded leaning over to kiss Ryosuke quickly before they both were hit with pillows, bursting into laughter as they defended their fortress.