Yamada Ryosuke & Chinen Yuri
Yamada x Chinen
Angst, Fluffy, AU, AOB, Alpha/Omega
R (Non-explicit) at the start, but the Epilogue will likely be NC-17
MxM Relationship, Alpha/Omega Traits, AU
Ryosuke had been sitting in quiet introspection for so long his sister had fallen asleep next to him on the couch. As the tiny little baby girl wiggled in his arms he glanced over at her, feeling a little helpless, worried he might do something wrong…hurt her…break her.
She was so tiny.
The smallest thing he could imagine.
He’d had plenty of pets, their house growing up was like a menagerie–but this?
This was nothing like that–she was nothing like that.
She was something so surreal, so beyond real life he couldn’t really comprehend it.
He understood all the mental stuff of course, why he felt the way he did psychologically–because, after all, he always wanted children–like from the moment he was old enough to remember feeling strongly about things, he felt like he wanted to be a father more than anything. Given the nature of his work, and the fact that it was pretty frowned on for them to have any sort of relationships which would certainly hinder the ability to produce a child, let alone a healthy, happy environment for said child–well, the prospects of becoming a father seemed to loom further and further away from his grasp exponentially for every year that passed.
Honestly, it wasn’t that he was being negative about it either. Certainly, as a child he couldn’t have truly comprehended the way his work would impede his ability to have normal relationships–as a matter of fact, that was sort of the furthest thing from his mind when he joined, not even remotely on his radar. Yet, when he did get old enough to understand the logistics of it, understand the repercussions for him on a personal level–then he knew for sure that it would be a decision he needed to make.
So, he made it.
He recognized that he sincerely wanted to be an idol. He loves his work, loves being who he is, singing, dancing, acting, entertaining. It wasn’t who he was from the start, but it is who he had become and now he couldn’t imagine being anyone else, anything else.
Certainly, when he considered things from an unbiased view, he realized that when he was about thirteen or fourteen years old, having been in Johnny’s long enough to understand the logistics and the way his future would be controlled by the company–he really did face that choice. He was still playing sports, and he knew he could fulfill the part of him that wanted to be in the spotlight–that had grown used to the lights and the adoration–that was something that he could still have if he wanted to–through soccer.
He was a good athlete–and if he wanted to pursue soccer, even after his few years with Johnny’s he still could with a bit of training and effort–in fact, he was pretty darn sure he’d be wildly successful and a super soccer star by the end of it all.
Yet, when the choice sort of fell in front of him, and he stood at the crossroads, there really was no choice at all.
He didn’t name it as such at the time, maybe it was because he was too conflicted, too in denial, but he could say it now because he knew–he wasn’t going to leave Yuri.
At that point it was no longer about the music or the shows, the lights nor the fans, not the acclaim or excitement–while all of those things were each and all something he loved about his lifestyle–not a single one of them factored into his choice to remain a Johnny.
Instead, when each item stacked up and he went one by one, they all fell away for pros and cons until there was only one thing left to decide–and that was the knowledge that he would become a superstar one way or another, he knew it in his heart–but one of those paths led him to a future where he’d have Yuri by his side–and the other led them down separate, independent ones.
It wasn’t hard after that to be sure, and as such, he threw himself into being the best idol he could be–because there was no hesitation anymore, and wouldn’t be again.
He hadn’t wondered about that choice since then–not until the minute they’d placed this tiny little bundle of sweet precious joy into his arms about two hours ago.
It was in a single breath that he had the feeling he’d faced down flood back to him, so much so it made his heart hurt, a deep hurt that had made him wonder momentarily if he was actually needing to go to the hospital–because the ache was so bad it made him breathless, he had to sit down, had to wave off the baby, make his sister take her so he could go to the bathroom to compose himself.
He had what could only be expressed as a breakdown in the bathroom, a physical, mental, emotional, spiritual breakdown that made him think he might not only need to go to the hospital but also the psych ward. He had pain, everywhere, like fire was burning through his veins, and it felt like his heart was trying to explode within the walls of his chest, beating wildly in a melody that was like singing a song of a different time. His entire form was drawn up into a small ball, feeling fragile and tender, as if a single touch would shatter him, and all he could think, the only words that were able to make it through the fog of pain and confusion were “I need.”
He couldn’t define it, couldn’t put a name to it, but that was all there was, the plea wrapped within the tendrils of pain radiating from it feeling like he was being taken apart bit by bit and remade into something different.
He had reached out to drag his phone over to try to call the emergency units when someone knocked on the door, and he’d sighed in immediate relief when he heard Yuri’s voice from the other side, “Yama-chan, sorry I am late–your sister said you were not feeling well–do you need me to take you to medical?”
“N-No,” he whimpered, his hand clutching his chest as a new wave of pain radiated through his body, and the moment Yuri had heard it, he opened the door, not caring in the least what he might find on the other side, panic suffusing his being as he discovered Ryosuke on the bathroom floor.
He scrambled to him, grabbing him up in his arms, “What do you need? What do you need me to do?”
“She’s the cutest ever isn’t she?”
Ryosuke blinked out of the memory he’d been having, glancing over at Yuri, who was leaning over to peek down at the tiny baby girl in his arms, smiling so sweetly up at him when he looked to see what Ryosuke thought.
“She is,” he nodded, then leaned forward to press his forehead against Yuri’s cheek, “Thank you again.”
“Pfft,” Yuri shrugged, still not sure how him entering the bathroom had apparently miraculously solved whatever medical crisis was happening at the time with Ryosuke, but thankful it had.
“You’re still going to get checked out, you promised,” Yuri drew his head back so he could see Ryosuke’s eyes, to make sure he wouldn’t lie to him, and was relieved when Ryosuke nodded, “Good.”
That night when Ryosuke was drifting off to sleep, he was warm and soft and filled with joy–it was as if he could still feel the weight of his niece in his arms, as if he could smell her against his skin–it was such a treasure–such a gift…and there in the midst of it, was Yuri, wrapped around him, driving away the darkness that threatened to consume him. He might not ever really understand what had happened that day–because it was horrible, and something he never wanted to relive–but at the same time, he walked away from that moment somehow…stronger.
He dreamed of tiny baby toes and hiccups that night, and the soft, tender touch of Yuri’s hand within his own.
It had been a chaotic few weeks, preparing for the upcoming release of their new album, everyone felt like their schedules were cram packed full from the moment they woke up until they went to sleep. It was one of those days, as the boys who were still in school had arrived to the studio immediately after having been picked up from school. They were ushered to different rooms to prepare their hair, makeup and wardrobe, and then they were off doing their solo shoots first.
When they first started doing these photo shoots it was awkward and weird, and to be honest, Ryosuke wasn’t really fond of it. But then some of his most trusted senpai had shared some tips with him, one being that every picture he took was a chance to win a heart—and he took that seriously, so he started to study pictures in magazines to see what set apart one that was average versus one that made you stop and linger, to really pour over the picture because it left you feeling something.
Having finished up his solo shots, he was given instructions to go to the changing room, and then report to studio 3. He did as asked, rolling his eyes when he looked at the outfit they had waiting for him.
A red panda?
There was nothing to be done for it, of course, they didn’t get too much say at this point about their wardrobe decisions, generally the photographer dressed them, but there had been some outfits he really hated. Of course, Johnny’s had managed to fine tune the process of having images taken for all of the various magazines down to a science, never taking more than two days generally which was good given the nature of their busy schedules.
He wanted to be mad about their schedules, cause the fact was he was seriously missing Yuri…it wasn’t that they hadn’t seen each other but with their schedules they really had not had any time to just be near each other—but he couldn’t be mad about it—after all he wanted to be a success, for them to be a success and this is what that looks like and feels like.
Ryosuke glanced at himself in the mirror, twisting to see the long tail attached to the back of the costume and then shook his head, it wasn’t as bad as some of the things they’d dressed him up in to be fair. At least it wasn’t him having to dress as a girl. This could definitely be okay, so he’d do it and he’d be cute while he did.
The bonus was that he figured if Yuri saw the pictures he’d tease him and they’d have a good laugh about it.
Resigned to it, he headed to the studio, walking through the door, his heart leaping when he saw Yuri sitting on the floor of the staged area, legs crossed, looking like the cutest little squirrel he’d ever seen in his whole life.
Yuri’s eyes lifted, drawn to where Ryosuke had just walked in, in tune with him no matter where he was generally, but especially so when he was missing him so much. The last few days had been really stressful, work had been tough, and to top it off he had barely even spent two minutes with Ryosuke between all the other chaos.
He’d spent the last 24 hours in a near full blown panic-attack mode. Then, it was as if he felt like his heart rate slowed, and he no longer felt the impending doom he had been feeling, instantly calming down, as if the stress he’d been feeling all day melted the moment Ryosuke walked into the room.
Well, it did.
Even if he couldn’t explain how or why—it did.
“Hey you,” Ryosuke moved to sit next to Yuri, glancing over at him, not missing how bright his expression had become.
“Hey you back,” Yuri responded, glancing at Ryosuke’s outfit, “You’re a cute panda.”
“You’re a cute squirrel,” Ryosuke smiled, reaching over to grab the hood on his costume and pull it up onto his head, much to Yuri’s protests, laughing at how cute he was.
The photographer explained they were doing animal themed pairings and they’d went through several standard cute, playful poses—playing with balloons and bouncing balls…and then they said they were going to do a few couples poses.
It wasn’t a bother for the boys, all of them understood why they did these pictures and in general none of them took it seriously—it was part of the job, and they were trained and further paid to do their job after all—so if fans wanted pictures of them looking dreamily into each others eyes? Well, if at all possible, that was what they gave them.
The photographer had Ryosuke shifted against the edge of the wall, his back against it with his knees bent up, forearms resting on his knees, waiting for instructions when they told Yuri to sit between his legs and lean back against him so they could get their faces close together.
To be fair, if people saw half of the contorted positions they were put in to achieve the results they saw in magazines they’d be shocked. Neither of the boys thought anything of this at all, Yuri shuffled into position, leaning against Ryosuke, who in return wrapped his arms around his chest without thought.
“That’s good,” the photographer called out, “Just like that.”
Ryosuke was about to make some kind of joke, because generally he was the one to say silly things to keep Yuri from feeling to self-conscious and nervous. He leaned his head forward just slightly, his nose brushing Yuri’s hair and then he froze.
The fragrance that hit him was like a thousand dreams melted into a river of perfection, all of his senses felt like they were tweaked at once, every nerve ending standing at attention, his heart began to beat triple time, thundering in his chest, his eyes screaming at him to close, to savor whatever this was, to pause time so that he could bathe in the scent that was tickling his nose.
It was so…Yuri.
At a base level Ryosuke couldn’t really understand, it was like the scent was branded with his own signature, like if he had been given the honor of saying what his very favorite scent would be—then this would be it.
He forced his expression to remain neutral, his internal monologue including copious threats of death and/or dismemberment if his body betrayed him in any form—forcing himself to act through the situation, despite wanting nothing more than to grab Yuri and bury his face in his hair forever.
Once the initial surprise and shock of the scent had worn off, he tried to take inventory of himself, realizing his heart was still wild inside his chest, and while he still wanted to throw Yuri down and…and…smell him…he felt like it was secondary to the fact that he just really, really wanted to hug him.
That he could do, so he squeezed him softly in his arms, doing what the photographer told him to do while he casually leaned his head closer, sneaking another little taste of the scent. While it was still powerful and potent, it didn’t effect him quite as dramatically as the first time.
“What are you doing?” Yuri whispered, keeping his head turned forward toward the camera.
I guess I wasn’t as subtle as I thought.
“Nothing,” Ryosuke answered quickly.
“No,” Ryosuke stopped him before he could say it out loud and make him die of embarrassment.
“Uh-huh,” the tone Yuri used made it perfectly clear he knew precisely what Ryosuke had been doing, and being the horrible human being he is, he casually tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck further to him.
Ryosuke’s hands clamped around him, his teeth biting into his lower lip as he tried to refrain from playing out the myriad of scenarios that were running through his mind.
“Don’t be an ass,” Ryosuke hissed, even though he moved closer to inhale more of the offered fragrance.
“Then don’t lie to me,” Yuri snapped, his expression still smiling at the camera.
Ryosuke hummed, not sure how to respond because he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to tell Yuri, thankful when they finally changed their position and he was no longer a constant distraction, well…at least his scent wasn’t.
They were on a show today, some variety program to promote their new cd, and the truth was they all knew they were not very good at variety programs, all too nervous and too inexperienced to be very good—counting on Kota and Hikaru to take care of all of them because they were the only ones well versed and knew how to handle themselves.
None of it really mattered of course, as they were entertainers, so they’d do what they came to do, and they’d make the best of it, do their very best to put a good foot forward and all of that.
Then it happened.
The woman shoved Yuri.
Ryosuke’s hands flew up, grabbing him around the chest, dragging him back against his body, wanting to pull him behind him but knowing that it wouldn’t be wise to make it so he was hidden behind everyone…but…
Oh, how he wanted to.
In fact, putting Yuri behind him was one of a multitude of things Ryosuke currently wanted to do.
She did it again.
And a fury arose inside of Ryosuke, fast and rampant, his hands shaking as he caught Yuri when he stumbled backward into him, his hands on his shoulders to steady him, and all he could think was that he was going to punch someone and get kicked out of Johnny’s. In fact, had he not had enough training at this point to control his expression he would have undoubtedly lost it completely, instead, he forced a nervous smile because he wasn’t sure what was happening. All he knew was a raw, powerful rage was building, his arm tightened on Yuri, intent on protecting him.
And then…Yuri was gone, out of his hands, Ryosuke’s eyes wide as he watched in horror as Yuri stepped forward and shoved the woman.
He was terrified…this was a risk, it was too much, and Ryosuke tried to temper his reaction of wanting to rush forward to save him.
Ryosuke was also confused, because the normal docile and peaceful energy he felt around Yuri was something different now, something…familiar. It seemed to him that it was like seeing his own self mirrored back at him, both causing him to wonder over the new feelings and his fury to grow as it took on the energy Yuri was shedding off as he moved back in front of him.
He inhaled sharply, the scent of Yuri different than normal, and a part of himself wanted to kick his own ass because he really had no idea where his thoughts were anymore.
He smells different…what the actual hell.
Before he could ponder it further, he saw everything narrow, all the colors in the room fading until there was only a thin line of color pointing directly at the woman who was coming at Yuri.
Ryosuke became fury personified.
He moved forward, intent on pushing Yuri behind his own body to shelter him, and then he would take care of this situation, the uncontrollable rage at this woman threatening to harm Yuri causing everything to spin into red before his eyes.
He’d grabbed Yuri, pulling him to safety as he tucked him behind his body, but before he could act on the screaming in his head that was telling him to eliminate the threat—Keito had moved like a flash between himself and the woman—pushing her back, and somehow everything instantly cleared, his vision returned to normal, and he felt Yuri push at his hands, trying to move back into the line.
Ryosuke let him go, knowing he couldn’t force him to stay behind him, out of harm’s way. He didn’t remember much after that, his mind shutting down, going into some kind of preservation mode, overwhelmed and conserving energy—on auto pilot through the rest of the program.
He’d never been so glad for a program to end.
When they moved down the hallway to the dressing room, he hung back, waiting for the others to move ahead, knowing Yuri would match his pace.
“Don’t ever do that again,” Ryosuke spoke the words softly, but Yuri jerked to a stop beside him, his eyes wide as he looked at him.
Ryosuke stopped, glancing back at him, “I’m serious, don’t do that again.”
“What exactly am I not supposed to do?” Yuri snapped, frowning.
“Put yourself in danger like that.”
Yuri laughed, shaking his head, “What on earth are you talking about? I wasn’t in danger…”
Ryosuke clenched his fists, the strange energy that Yuri had been projecting before was no longer there, just his normal soothing one. He couldn’t help feeling utterly frustrated that Yuri didn’t see what he saw, “She could have hurt you…I mean it wasn’t right for you to put yourself out there like that and it cou—”
“I was fine, nothing was going to happen to me,” Yuri interrupted him, stepping forward until he was beside Ryosuke, his brows drawing down as he studied him, “What’s this really about?”
I don’t ever want to lose you.
I don’t want anything to happen to you.
I need you in my life.
Please, don’t ever leave me.
Ryosuke growled in aggravation at the chaotic words rushing through his mind, “I don’t know.”
“I’m fine, I’m right here, and I’m fine,” Yuri reached out to touch Ryosuke’s hand, drawing it out of the fist he’d been holding at his side, wrapping his fingers around his palm, “Nothing happened to me.”
Ryosuke looked over at him, his eyes filled with an expression that Yuri wasn’t sure he’d seen before, somehow a combination of pain and worry and anger, a heady emotion that Yuri wanted to cry over, but he didn’t know why.
He blinked rapidly when Ryosuke’s voice shook, “I—I ca—can’t imagine if someth—if anything ever happened to you…I can’t im—”
“Oh stop,” Yuri moved forward, smiling up at Ryosuke, “You don’t have to worry—I’m fine! Nothing will ever happen to me!”
Ryosuke wanted to believe him, more than anything, but he just huffed, “You can’t say that like you know it for sure…”
“I can,” Yuri grinned that type of smile that told Ryosuke he knew exactly how cute he was and how much power he actually had here, “…because you’ll always be there to protect me.”
“Am I wrong?” Yuri challenged him boldly, shaking his shoulders in his absolute knowing.
Ryosuke’s eyes narrowed, and he knew he couldn’t argue, shaking his head, “No.”
“Alright then,” he tugged on Ryosuke’s hand, “Let’s go, you can buy me one of those ice cream sodas I like at the shop on the corner on our way to my house.”
Ryosuke let himself be guided down the hallway, not sure that this was the resolution he really wanted for this situation, but absolutely sure that he had no say in the matter at this point.
Days and weeks had blended together, and often Ryosuke found himself amazed when he’d went several months without digging into the box of his grandmother’s letters. It wasn’t that he’d found an answer or peace, but rather that somehow the answer to the questions and concerns seemed to be irrelevant and unimportant.
He was happy.
He knew that Yuri was happy.
He also knew that they were who they were, and there were certainly parts of everything that he felt that he was in the most throes of denial—but that was fine, wasn’t it? Isn’t it okay to just be where you are and be satisfied with that even if it means denying yourself something more? If it means the other person is happy?
Well, to Ryosuke, it seemed with how casually the world threw out the word love it had become a cheapened, shallow version of what love was ever meant to be—and in his mind?
To sacrifice something you want or need for someone else’s happiness?
Isn’t that what real love looks like?
My dearest Ryo-chan–
It’s been very quiet here and I wonder how things are there where you are? I wonder if you find peace because I have taken my heart and shared it here in these letters for you?
Ah, don’t mind me, it’s near the holidays and they always prove to be exceptionally challenging. Maybe I will see you one day and you’ll take your old Granny to a walk in that park with all the lights they show us on tv. What a lovely thought—indeed, I will hold onto it in my heart.
Last time I told you about the Betas, but this time I wanted to explain about the Omegas. They are really the most important of all the hybrids. I know that every Alpha there ever was would decidedly argue with me about this, because they like to fancy themselves as the most important of everyone. Honestly, there’s a negative side to a lot of Alphas in this way, but I can tell you’re not going to grow up that way.
At any rate, setting aside the general ego issue of Alphas who want to say they’re the conduit in the mechanism to bind together the hybrid system—the truth is they aren’t.
That would be the Omegas. You see, the Omegas have biological and physiological systems that are vastly complex—an intricately designed anatomy which not only could function as a perfectly normal human but also take on particular qualities that were vital to the success of the hybrid’s ability to propagate the world’s population.
They also were gifted with extra sensory gifts far beyond that of their counter hybrids, the Alphas. Quite a lot of these functions take place automatically, in order to give the Omega the chance to find the perfect partner. The goal of partnering is to create the strongest offspring—I mean the original purpose and goal was this, and in that way there was a strict biological function of nearly all of the aspects of being an Omega with an intent to discover the strongest Alpha.
Of course, as the population grew, and the hybrid trait began to degrade and become more and more rare, the emphasis seemed to change from this to one of compatibility, shying away from what had been primarily a base physical matching to a more intellectual, psychological, and emotional connection. This was the formation of “love” as we know it today, yes? In this way, the hybrids came to even better understand what made humans, well, I guess…human. As the trait finally faded, the hybrids merging in with the human population in a way it would become nearly impossible to tell them apart, they carried in their hearts the desire above all other urges—to find and give love.
It has been said that the most important thing you will ever learn is how to love and how to be loved.
This is doubly so for hybrids.
I know, I know—there goes your old Granny just waxing poetic about hybrids and humans and love and all of that—but what can I say? I’ve been labeled in many ways, and I have taken on many a title in my lifetime…but I hope you know that among all of these, there is only one that truly matters to me—that’s the one YOU gave me, “Granny”.
I love you my dear grandson!
The truth is, the days and months seemed to merge one into the other, but even so there has been a single thing that remained the same.
Ryosuke and Yuri.
Everyone thought that they had the most unique friendship, and they knew they did, something between them they could neither define or offer a proper name for, but they knew without a doubt—they were made to be friends, to be in each other’s world.
They complimented each other in a way that was so rare, so unique, and they cared for each other on a different plane than other people did.
Maybe this would have been a problem for other people, maybe in other professions, other lives, but for them?
It was never an aspect of their lives that made them struggle but rather, in truth, it made them thrive.
Yuri had just opened the door to the locker room, stepping into the shower room when Ryosuke stepped out of one of the stalls.
He…it’s like…I might actually die.
His heart was pounding in his chest, confused by why he was so suddenly effected by Ryosuke in this way.
His eyes moved over his smooth skin, a towel wrapped around his trim waist, his head covered by a towel that he was using to currently dry his hair, his muscles moving in the light in a way that made them look like work of art, his entire body seeming like an exquisite statue carved with the finest details possible, and it was undeniable, he was just…perfect.
He’s hot as fuck.
Yuri froze, his breath caught in his throat as the thought ran through his senses, and he was so flustered, so unhinged by such a thought he needed to get out of there, rushing forward to get into the shower, to get done with that so he could go home and figure out what the hell he was going on about.
That was a good plan, but in his frustration, he had rushed straight forward, slamming directly into Ryosuke who was clearly not looking as he was still drying his hair.
Ryosuke jerked the towel off his head, eyes wide, “Oh my gosh, Yuri! Are you okay? I’m so sorry!”
Yuri just nodded, not trusting his voice, because honestly…
What the hell…how can he be this attractive!?
All he wanted, maybe besides Ryosuke at the moment was for Ryosuke to step to the side so he could get into that shower because he could feel the heat from Ryosuke’s body permeating his own skin. He could feel every inch of him that was touching his own body—and he couldn’t think, couldn’t process anything—feeling drunk and uncoordinated.
Then, everything narrowed into sharp focus and all Yuri could see was the way Ryosuke’s pulse was beating in his throat, his eyes utterly fixated on it, and then within a mere moment, he smelled the most delicious, decadent, unbelievably sinful scent that he knew without question was emanating from Ryosuke.
Yuri’s eyes rolled back into his head, his fists clenching at his side, unable to respond when Ryosuke’s hands gripped his arms tighter as a low, breathy groan filled the air between them, his eyes snapping to Ryosuke’s, watching his eyes seeming to gloss over as he inhaled sharply, Yuri’s voice high, “What cologne are you wearing?“
Yuri tilted his head forward, eyes fixated on the pulse beating underneath his delicate skin, and Ryosuke could see his nostrils flaring as he slowly inhaled, his arms shaking under his grip, “Ah…I mean…I literally just got out of the shower…just now…“
Ryosuke was confused because he was fairly certain Yuri had actually just watched him step out of the shower, wrap a towel around his waist and then dry his hair with another towel, “You…were…I mean…you were right there…“
Yuri’s eyes lifted to stare at Ryosuke, but it seemed to him that he wasn’t seeing him at all, his voice high and confused, “Soap? I guess..it’s my soap–it’s the one I bought from the bouti—”
“No,” Yuri snapped, the force of the word causing Ryosuke to stop in mid-sentence, helpless when Yuri pushed forward, causing Ryosuke’s fingers to loosen on his arms as he fought the urge to step back, the strange aura around Yuri catching him off guard when Yuri’s nose grazed the pulse point on his neck, “This isn’t that…this is…it’s…new…it’s…so strong!“
Yuri groaned again, the sound low and somehow making Ryosuke’s cheeks flush, blinking rapidly, turning his head with the intent to push Yuri back and get to the bottom of his strange behavior.
Like maybe he’s low on some vitamin or something–like people eat dirt and stuff like that when they have issues…maybe this is like that?
Yet, when Ryosuke’s head turned, his nose running across the edge of Yuri’s hair, he froze, his heart fluttering wildly as he warred with the feeling of wanting…no…no…NEEDING to press his face into his hair. Like the day of the photo shoot but it was multiplied by a billion. He felt his knees shaking under him, his fingernails biting into his palms as he tried to stop his hands from grabbing Yuri and pushing his head to the side so he could smell him.
What the fuck.
I’ve lost my damn mind.
Walk the fuck away.
His head turned, his nose tickled by the hair that was touching it, inhaling deeply, the words spoken without him being able to even consider them, “What cologne are you wearing?“
Yuri didn’t answer, his breathing slow and steady as his hands clenched and unclenched by his side, both of them turning their heads when Hikaru spoke from the doorway where he’d walked in at some point, his towel over his shoulder, his cheeks red, “What the hell…you two…I can’t…“
Ryosuke’s eyes narrowed without his permission, a feeling of pure adrenaline running up his spine, making his entire body antsy to move, his fingertips aching, scalp tingling, and for a moment he could picture himself moving across the room like an animal to shut his mouth, violently, but that would require him to step away from Yuri, something he didn’t think he could actually do at this point.
Hikaru shook his head as he walked toward the showers, “I mean…you two have always been…“
He paused at the door to the shower, as if he were searching for a word that wouldn’t insult them, unaware that the two boys were staring daggers into his back, his hand waving, “You two have always been weird…touching all the time, and…oddly…affectionate.“
Hikaru turned to look at the boys, his eyes studying their position, rolling around the weird way they were talking about cologne while sniffing each other, shrugging, “…but this is escalating things…even for you two.“
Ryosuke wasn’t sure what response Hikaru was expecting, and honestly, he was mostly focused on his attempt to hold his breath so he could think properly because something in the way Yuri was standing too close made him want to scratch his skin off to find relief to the weird tingling feeling that kept washing over him each time he inhaled.
He settled for grunting, watching as Hikaru shrugged again, turning to go into the shower.
What Ryosuke meant to do was take a big step back, turn his head and inhale fresh air from the room…get control of this situation and whatever weird voodoo magic was taking place.
Instead, the next thirty seconds were a blur as he turned his head, intent to look at Yuri who still had his head turned to watch Hikaru close the door to the shower, yet as his head turned, and Yuri’s neck was bared to him, he was struck with the smell, stronger, more potent, the one he couldn’t identify again, his hands jerking up to grab Yuri’s arms as he was instantly pressing his face against his neck to smell him better, one of his hands moving up to grab his hair to hold his head in place.
In the back of his mind, all Ryosuke could think was that Yuri was going to punch him, like literally beat the living hell out of him…anyyyyy second.
Yet, instead, Yuri simply melted against Ryosuke, molding himself against his body as he stepped into him, his arms wrapping around Ryosuke’s waist, holding him tightly as he tilted his head further away, giving Ryosuke better access to his neck.
Ryosuke shivered when Yuri’s fingers moved across the bare skin of his back, something raging within him he didn’t have a word for, a slow, deep, low, rumbling growl coming from within, his eyes clenching shut tightly when Yuri whimpered against his chest as he began to tremble in his embrace.
What the hell is happening.
He felt himself moving, intent on pushing Yuri back against the wall, a loose plan, blurry with sights and sounds, forming that involved his mouth, neck, body, and that SMELL–but before he could move, Daiki rushed into the room heading for the shower—breaking whatever utter insanity that had been transpiring against his iron clad will.
Ryosuke blinked, jerking his head away from Yuri who was frozen, his head moving slowly back, his body following as he released Ryosuke, eyes wide as he stared at him.
Daiki paused, glancing at the two boys only just now taking in the position they were in when he’d walked in, “Wait…what happened? Is everything okay?“
“What?” Ryosuke tilted his head, confused.
“You were hugging Yuri–did something happen?“
“Hugging Yur–” Ryosuke felt his mouth go dry, “Yeah, no…I mean…“
“My cat died.“
Ryosuke’s head jerked to look at Yuri who was staring blank-faced at Daiki…lying.
Straight up lying.
“Oh my gosh!” Daiki frowned, “I’m so sorry!“
He started to step forward to hug Yuri but then stopped when Yuri’s hand flew up, his hand moving to pull his shirt up to cover his face to block the smell, “It’s fine…Ryosuke was just taking care of me.“
Yuri’s eyes moved to connect with Ryosuke’s surprised ones, his expression soft, “Thank you.”
Ryosuke had too many questions running through his mind, too many thoughts, and he needed answers, but before he could formulate a single one, Yuri was gone, rushing from the room in a blur, and he was left standing there befuddled about what in the world was actually happening between them.
“I didn’t know he had a cat,” Daiki whispered, staring at the door Yuri had escaped through, then turning to head to the shower beside Hikaru.
“He doesn’t,” Ryosuke muttered, shrugging, “I don’t know why he said that.“
Daiki stopped, turning to look at Ryosuke in confusion, “Why would he lie about that?“
“I dunno,” Ryosuke turned to look at him, “I’m gonna find out though.“
“I’m never going to his house again if he has a cat…” Hikaru called out from within the shower.
“His cat died, it’s not there anymore,” Daiki answered sharply.
“I just said he doesn’t even have a ca–” Ryosuke sighed, shaking his head, “Whatever…I gotta go…“
Ryosuke’s hands were shaking, the paper blurry under his gaze as a tear dripped down onto the paper, the words his grandmother had written there screaming at him from the page he had just pulled out of the box.
The important part is this—you are a hybrid.
You are a hybrid.
The words raced through his mind.
There was a voice inside of him telling him to take the letters, shove the box back under the bed, and forget every single bit of all of this, except…there really wasn’t part within himself that would truthfully be able to say that he didn’t somehow already know this.
In a pretty big way, it felt to him that every single thing he’d experienced up until now, in particular from the moment Yuri had entered his life—that had been leading him to this moment in time.
I am a hybrid.
Now, you may not see anything different about yourself and that’s just fine, isn’t it? Maybe you’ll go your whole life without ever needing to know about all of this—but in the case that the trait is awakened within you—I want you to understand, I don’t want you to be afraid.
I just thought, in reality, that you should be told the truth.
Don’t be too angry at your parents, I know they don’t want you to know this, but I saw it, I know your future, and I believe with all my heart that you should know so that you won’t be afraid of what is happening when your trait reactivates. You’ll need people who care about you and will support you as you navigate this—and while I disagree with your parent’s decision to keep this from you, I do understand why they made it.
At any rate, I am sure you have questions, and I invite you to send them to me, and I’ll do my very best to answer them.
Until then, I love you my dear grandson, and if you need me I am right here. Please take gentle care of you and most important—trust your heart.
I love you,