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[1.6] Real (24 Hrs Post-confession)
Reading Time: 19 minutes

Yamada Ryosuke & Chinen Yuri


Yamada x Chinen

Ship Name





YES IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED, BABY BOYS ARE TOGETHER, ahhh all the kisses, Yutti is a mess, love love love, precious boys are soooo in love, Fluffy, romance, sweet love, first love, discovery, slice of life, domestic




MxM Relationship

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January 13, 2014

It was the kind of kiss you got lost in, the kind that was slow at the start, cautious, and then it gave way to layers of emotions, one building on the next, until somehow it was laced with a distinct intensity unmatched by other experiences in life. A flowing work in motion, tangled hands discovering the world anew–every motion trailing sparks along their skin, every caress seemingly imbued with an ancient magic that awakened every sense.

It seemed to them that everything within their reach was moving with a slow and purposeful grace, and yet, the world and all of the colors and sounds and forces that move nature to create scenes of beauty and destruction spun in the ether surrounding them–held back by the power of their confession–by the words that were spoken into life, into being, with tears and with laughter–imprinted upon their hearts in a permanent way, indelible and impossible to remove, yet, words that neither would be able to quote no matter how they tried as if the language they used was not one of their design, but instead, one of their very souls.

These words, delivered into the world with such emotion, such simple truthfulness–that instead of either of them capable of taking mental notes of what was said in detail–their souls seemed to greet one another, draping the words as a mantle around them, enveloping them in the soft, safe cocoon of feelings they were surrounded by.











…and more than any other, the one feeling that was like a new layer of skin across their bodies, across their souls, was the impossible to describe truth of such complete and breath-taking love.


Unconditional in every way.

They knew each other, they knew the worst parts of one another–in fact, they knew it better than maybe anyone else on the planet, because they’d had just that kind of friendship. The kind where you could say the worst things, be the terrible person you took great care to hide from others, but revealed to that one you trusted, and the other accepted, waited it out, and didn’t ever try to change you, or make you feel badly for being so completely human.

They weren’t the idols with one another, no, not at all, they were the most ordinary humans to be found–yet, in this moment, as they gasped for breath, laughing lightly as they reluctantly broke their first kiss, drew each other into a powerful embrace–in this moment? They felt like gods–two ethereal beings who had somehow managed to form a completely new world with one broken moment of confession.

When Ryosuke drew back from Yuri’s arms, his face still wet with tears, his hands raising to hold his cheeks in his hand, Yuri’s hands snapped up to grab his wrists, his eyes twinkling in happiness as he smiled, “This really happened? This is real? You…you and…I…we’re…”

“This is real,” Ryosuke smiled, leaning forward, testing a soft kiss on Yuri’s lips–a different one than before–slow, and careful, drawing back, unable to contain his smile that seemed to radiate between them, “I–I can’t believe it.”

“Me either,” Yuri agreed, his eyes bouncing across Ryosuke’s face, trying to memorize it, trying to remember this for his whole life, this moment where they both stood with the days ahead of them stretched out like lovely pages of a book waiting for them to fill each blank space with all of their adventures, with the story of their life together.

Yuri’s eyes moved over Ryosuke’s shoulder to the counter where his phone had made a chiming sound, but Ryosuke didn’t move, instead, his fingers ran through Yuri’s hair, his eyes moving across his face, taking him in, trying to convince himself that it was all real.

When the phone chimed again, Yuri looked at Ryosuke, smiling, “Should you…”

“It’s Yuto,” Ryosuke grinned, shrugging.

“Yuto?” Yuri tilted his head.

“He…I guess it’s right to say he’d figured it all out,” Ryosuke answered, laughing as Yuri’s eyes widened.

“He figured it out?”

Ryosuke hummed softly, “Yes, and today before he left he told me that it was a now or never moment…he…he gave me a lot of courage, told me some stuff…” Ryosuke took a deep breath, the memory of the conversation playing through his mind, and he knew he would need to do something to make sure Yuto know how much his support meant tot him, he looked back up at Yuri, “Well, I mean he told me some stuff I really needed to hear–he’s the reason…well, I mean, without him–it might have been ten more years.”

“I see,” Yuri couldn’t help but laugh, gesturing to the phone again when it made a sound, “You should probably let him know…”

Ryosuke nodded, his hand on Yuri’s hip not moving as he twisted to grab his phone, sliding his thumb across it to unlock it as he turned back to face Yuri, his eyes bright with humor as he read the messages, turning the screen around to show Yuri.

Yutti-Patootie: And then…..

Yutti-Patootie: Seriously…Yama-chan…did you do what I said?

Yutti-Patootie: Please tell me you did…please?

Yuri burst out laughing, grabbing the phone from Ryosuke, “Does he know you have him labeled as ‘Yutti-Patootie’ in your phone?”

Ryosuke blinked, and then laughed because he wasn’t sure, “I don’t know, actually…” he shuffled to lean against the wall next to Yuri, “What…what do I say?”

Yuri turned to lean his shoulder on the wall, studying Ryosuke’s face, “The truth.”

Ryosuke nodded, humming, and then grinned, “We can at least mess with him first, can’t we?”

Yuri caught on instantly agreeing as they set up a picture to send to Yuto.




They laughed when the image loaded, and Ryosuke thought maybe he shouldn’t tease Yuto after all of the support he’d given him but he just couldn’t resist.




Yutti-Patootie: WAIT, WAIT!!!! Does this mean…I mean…like did you? Like did you tell him and he…did this happen? DID IT!?!?!


Yutti-Patootie: OH MY GOD I AM SCREAMING HERE I AM DYING I AM LITERALLY DYING DID YOU TWO ACTUALLY KISS!? Like a real true kiss!? Is that what you are telling me?! IS IT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME?



Yuri burst out laughing, “Oh my gosh! He wants to know if we kissed or not!”

Ryosuke laughed too, reaching over to touch Yuri’s cheek as he turned his head to look at him, “Yuto is okay, he’s known my feelings since your birthday…probably before that…but that’s when I knew he knew…” 

Yuri’s eyes widened at this news, glancing back at the phone, Ryosuke touched his shoulder, “You don’t have to worry, he’s not going to tell anyone.”

Yuri shoved him lightly, “That’s not what I’m worried about!”

“Then what?”

“It’s just…” Yuri shook his head, “It’s so embarrassing!





Yutti-Patootie: Give me a minute, I need to process.

Ryosuke: lol okay, calm down–everything’s gonna be okay lol

Ryosuke laughed grabbing Yuri’s hand and dragged him out of the kitchen into the living room, pulling him down to sit next to him.

Yuri twisted to look at Ryosuke, tilting his head, “Does it still feel impossible to you?”

Ryosuke glanced from his phone up to Yuri, humming softly and then nodding, “It does.”

Yuri drew his legs up onto the couch, tucking them under him as he turned to face Ryosuke, his eyes were wide as he stared at Ryosuke who had no idea what he was doing. 

Yuri didn’t speak, just moved his hands up to touch Ryosuke’s hair, running his fingers through the soft strands, his fingernails sliding on his scalp softly, causing Ryosuke to close his eyes for a moment, humming quietly. When Yuri moved his hands to run his thumbs across his eye brows he opened his eyes again, studying him, but he wasn’t paying a bit of attention to Ryosuke, the entirety of his attention was focused on his fingers as they moved down his face to touch his ears, his fingers tracing the edges of them, and then moving forward to touch his cheeks.

His finger smoothed across the surface, and then he drew his thumbs down to touch his lips, softly and gently with great reverence, and then down his neck to his shoulders.

Ryosuke shuddered, hoping that Yuri wouldn’t notice, because the attention was more than he’d ever known in his life from anyone apart from his family, and this was nothing like that. He could feel his heart thrumming wildly in his chest and he knew there was no way Yuri couldn’t feel it. Though, kindly, if he did, he didn’t comment, just ran his fingers across his shoulders, then grazed slowly down his arms, his fingertips squeezing softly as he memorized the way the muscles felt under his hands.

When he reached Ryosuke’s hands he picked one of them up, pulling it toward him, turning it over and back again, tracing the veins and then he looked down, placing the hand on his own hip.

He did the same with the other, and once he finished, his head bent forward, and somehow he seemed to curl up into a tiny ball as Ryosuke’s hands drew him closer still until he was sitting on his lap, as Yuri shifted to lay his head on Ryosuke’s chest, his ear pressed to his heart.

Ryosuke’s hand moved slowly up Yuri’s back, sliding through his hair as he held him there, and when Yuri hummed contentedly he felt his eyes flutter closed in satisfaction, leaning his head down to rest his cheek on Yuri’s hair.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, somehow it felt like forever, and yet, it still wasn’t long enough, when Yuri shifted, rolling over onto his back, his legs stretching out behind him as he looked up at Ryosuke from his place on his lap.

Ryosuke reached down and stroked his cheek, smiling, “What did you decide?”

“It’s real,” Yuri grinned, turning his head to kiss Ryosuke’s palm quickly before he drew it to his chest, holding it tightly against his heart, “See?”

Ryosuke hummed, leaning forward, curling his body inward, pressing his lips against Yuri’s so softly, so gently, almost a whisper against his sensitive skin, and their eyes remained open, staring at one another, truly seeing one another, and then Yuri’s hands grabbed him, pulling him closer and Ryosuke let him, his arms wrapping around him to pull him up to hug him, squeezing him tightly, “I do see.”

He drew back, holding Yuri up in his arms, and he was moments from kissing him again, maybe multiple times when his phone chimed. He rolled his eyes, “This is how it will be now, isn’t it?”

“Probably,” Yuri admitted, the message tone sounding again before he reached his hand to grab Ryosuke’s phone out of his back pocket and holding it up to him.

Ryosuke opened the phone and then turned it around so Yuri could see the messages.



Yutti-Patootie: I really mean it, guys, I can’t even tell you, I am just really happy for you, and I know you know, but remind Chii-chan, he doesn’t need to worry about me telling anyone or anything, I swear

Ryosuke: He knows, thanks Yutti–I don’t think we’d be here if it were not for you

Yutti-Patootie: Shut up! Go do coupley type things together and have a good first day of officially being adults

Yuri shifted, grabbing the controller off the table beside them, quickly turning on the TV, “Can I pick the movie?”

“Absolutely not,” Ryosuke shook his head, trying to grab the remote from him, but he was entirely too fast.

“Why not?!” Yuri huffed, crossing his arms, his hand around the remote with a death grip.

“Because I know what you’re going to pick, you pick the same three movies, and they are all animated…”

“They’re classics…what do you have against that?”

Yuri stuffed the remote under his leg and then held his fist up on top of is flat hand, “We’ll play for it.”

Ryosuke sighed, part of him knowing he would lose, because he always loses janken, but at the same time, maybe since things seemed to be going his way, perhaps this would be the one time that he won.

It wasn’t.


Ryosuke found himself wide awake, his eyes fixated on Yuri who was currently sprawled out on the couch, his head resting on a pillow in his lap, his breath coming out in adorable little puffs as he slept. He’d made it about halfway through the movie before he’d grabbed a throw pillow and tossed it into Ryosuke’s lap, who watched wide-eyed as Yuri shifted quickly, twisting to lay down with his head on the pillow, his hands folded under his head between the pillow and Ryosuke’s leg, and without any words fell immediately to sleep.

Under ordinary circumstances, Ryosuke would be irritated since Yuri had won their janken battle, elated to pick a movie he knew that Ryosuke would never watch under ordinary circumstances—some animated film that Yuri adored. He had at least been somewhat distracted by watching Yuri’s reaction to the movie, but then when he’d made a huge display of yawning, Ryosuke didn’t take long to piece together what was going to happen next, and he’d been exactly right.

Still, even with Yuri asleep on the couch and the theme song to the movie playing over and over again, he just couldn’t be bothered. Not tonight. Maybe not ever again—because he had Yuri, he was right here, sleeping on his couch.

It wasn’t like he’d never seen Yuri do that before, and it also wasn’t like he did anything any different. He’d certainly slept in his lap a million times before tonight, but…somehow…this was like the first time he’d ever had the ability to fully see, to embrace every color in the spectrum. 

It felt like a night filled with all new experiences–all new moments–that despite having been seen and done a million times in the past, suddenly every moment held new meaning, new value, new memories, and Ryosuke was bent on relishing them one by one.

Ryosuke smiled when Yuri hummed in his sleep, his knees curling up toward his chest, and he wondered if he might be cold. He drew the throw blanket down off the back of the couch, trying to move as softly as he could to keep from waking Yuri, spreading the blanket out over his curled-up form, drawing it up to cover his shoulder and then biting his lip when his eyes landed on Yuri’s sleep filled ones looking up at him.

“I should go home,” Yuri mumbled, yet somehow his body seemed to curl into an even smaller ball as he drew the blanket up underneath his chin, as if burrowing closer to Ryosuke for warmth.

Ryosuke wanted to kiss him, again, but he settled for running his fingers through his hair, leaning over him to whisper, “We don’t have work tomorrow, you can just say here…tonight.”

The word ‘forever’ had flashed in front of his eyes but he knew that it might be too much at this point to say such things–though, clearly his psyche wasn’t interested in what was too much or not—the floodgates had been opened and restraint was not in his subliminal mind’s vocabulary.

Take your time.

Calm down.

We have a lifetime.

“Okay,” Yuri murmured, nestling into Ryosuke’s leg.

“Well,” Ryosuke smiled down at him, “We should go to bed though.”

“I’m already here,” Yuri spoke softly, lifting his head as if he were allowing Ryosuke to stand up.

“I thought…” Ryosuke watched as Yuri rolled his head, laying it back on his leg, blinking sleepily up at him.


Ryosuke reached down to touch Yuri’s cheek, “You don’t have to sleep on the couch, that’s all. There’s room…if you…I mean, in my b-bed…there’s plenty of space…”

Yuri’s eyes widened a little bit for a moment, and then he sat up, swaying from his sleepiness, his voice cute and child-like, “I can sleep there?”

“Sure?” Ryosuke nodded, reaching over to hold his arm, afraid he was going to fall off the couch any second, then concerned he might have the wrong idea, “I mean, just to…sleep, I wouldn’t want to…you know…just…”

“Shut up, I know that, dummy, and yes, I want to,” Yuri nodded, and then slowly, he laid back down on the couch again, his head back in Ryosuke’s lap, eyes fluttering closed.

“Yuri!” Ryosuke spoke softly, but firmly, and he blinked up at him, “Hmm?”

“Let’s go to bed then.”

“O-Okay…” the word drew out into a long, loud yawn.

Ryosuke smiled, nudging Yuri who furrowed his brows without opening his eyes, “You have to get up though.”

“I don’t want to,” Yuri shook his head, frowning.

Ryosuke laughed, because this was so…so…Yuri…and he knew that this was how he was once he’d fallen asleep, so he wiggled, shifting until he was able to move out from under him, standing up to look at him, “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“I’m always cute,” Yuri announced, his voice muffled from the blanket he’d drawn up to his face, curling up further.

“You are,” Ryosuke admitted, leaning over and pulling him up into his arms. Yuri rolled into him, one arm grabbing around his neck as he moved through the room to the hallway.

“Thank you, Ryosuke,” Yuri whispered, his breath soft on his cheek.

“For what?” Ryosuke couldn’t see his face to read what kind of tone he meant the words in.

“For loving me,” Yuri whispered, not releasing Ryosuke’s neck as he laid him down on the bed.

“You’re easy to love,” Ryosuke whispered, kissing him quickly and then forcing his arm down, moving his legs so he could draw the covers up to his chin, “Now, sleep.”

“You, too.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

Ryosuke watched as he fell back to sleep, only moments passing, and then he smiled, because not only was Yuri the cutest, he was now sleeping in his bed, not as another Jump member, not as just a friend, but as his boyfriend–as the boy he loves.

My boyfriend.

The word ‘boyfriend’ seemed entirely too cliche, and altogether too simple of a word to encapsulate the entirety of their relationship, but he wasn’t sure what else to call him.


That would do, but he was positive the word would sound too much to anyone, particularly to Yuri, so he would only allow himself to think it moving forward, but not speak it…at least not yet.

In good time.

It felt like a new world to him somehow, and he couldn’t help but smile the entire time while he took his shower and got dressed for bed.

This is real.

This has really happened.

He stopped at the door way to the bedroom, leaning against the edge, giving his eyes a moment to adjust to the dim lighting in his bedroom. As the form on his bed came into focus, he raised his hand, pressing it against his chest where his heart was suddenly thrumming wildly.

This is real.

He’s really there.

He kept his hand there, on his chest, rubbing lightly as he crossed the room, looking down at where Yuri was asleep, curled up into a small ball, taking up barely any room at all–yet, to Ryosuke it was impossible to imagine him not being there now that he was. It was as if nothing in the room had been complete until now.

He knew he was being too over the top with his emotions, too far gone, but he didn’t really care, couldn’t even make himself care–because he’d told the truth, and he’d discovered the truth, and in a world full of so much chaos, confusion, hatred, and evils–they’d somehow ended up with the same truth at the same time.

They really did love each other.

He loves me.

I love him.

It’s okay to be who we really are now.

To be who we really are together.

He knew it would be a process to let go of all of the barriers they’d built up between them…and no doubt, they’d be having to talk through a lot of problems they’d face…but tonight?

Nothing mattered.

If he lost his job, all of the things he’d worked so hard for–now, in this moment when he knew that he could have this, could have Yuri–could have a life with him? Well, he’d give up everything to see to it. He didn’t think that would ever happen, they’d be careful, and surely there was a lot they needed to figure out and discuss on how to handle things with Jump and the public and things–but they had time to figure it out–they spent so much time together already, and were already so close, he sincerely doubted anyone would notice unless they were completely overt about it.

He couldn’t be bothered by any of it right now, not when he was looking down at Yuri, so sweet, so peaceful, so right. So perfectly right, laying there under his comforter, on his pillows, in his house, in what he suddenly wanted to be theirhouse.

You have to calm down, you’re going to scare him to death.

He knew his intensity was too much, he knew it and was already trying to figure out how to not be so…much.

I need to go at his pace…we can take our time…of course we can.

He really considered for a moment to go slowly, to go crawl into his side of the bed, to let him rest and let him be, but he just couldn’t…he had to shake off the edges that kept saying it wasn’t true, even with it clear before his very eyes, the nagging voice kept trying to convince him it was the by product of an overactive imagination and nothing more.

It’s real.

It has to be.

He toed off his slippers, and then quickly slid in behind Yuri, carefully moving toward him, and when Yuri stirred in his sleep, Ryosuke’s eyes were wide, his breath caught in his chest watching as he flipped over, his arm wrapping around Ryosuke as he burrowed into him, curling up into his embrace.

“Yuri?” he whispered his name softly, wondering if he actually knew what he was doing.

“Hmm?” Yuri responded sleepily, his eyes remaining closed, but his fingers tightened around his chest, proving he was awake.

“Is…Is this…is it okay?”

“Don’t be stupid, Yamada,” Yuri wiggled, adjusting and scooting closer, “I’m too tired to kick your ass tonight.”

Ryosuke laughed softly, wrapping his arms around Yuri, holding him against his side, relishing the feeling of his breath on his neck, of the way he seemed to fit perfectly.

He’d hugged him countless times, he’d held him when he’d had nightmares, or times when he had his feelings hurt, or times when he missed his Mom–he’d always been there, and this wasn’t very different at first glance from those times–but he knew, and somehow he felt sure that Yuri knew too–everything was different.

His hand wasn’t on his chest as a mere place to lay his hand–rather, to him it seemed as if it were placed there with the purpose of touching his heart. His arms weren’t just wrapped around Yuri with the expression of comfort–but now, through his touch he hoped to convey the plethora of emotions that rolled through him.

The strongest emotion at the moment being sheer contentment. This is where he belonged, held close by Yuri, and this is where Yuri perfectly fit–within his own arms.

Everything was just as it should be.

He didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep, but he bolted awake, looking to the side, the nightlight casting shadows onto Yuri’s form beside him, sitting up, his arms wrapped around his knees, shaking as he cried. Ryosuke reached over to touch his back, but he flinched, so Ryosuke drew his hand back, whispering, “Yuri?”

When Yuri turned, Ryosuke thought his heart would break, because he didn’t know how long he’d been crying but his eyes were swollen and his face was puffy from the tears, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Yuri shook his head, another wave of tears falling as he scooted closer, letting Ryosuke wrap his arms around him, which at least comforted Ryosuke, even if he didn’t understand what was happening, “I’ve got you.”

For whatever reason, this made Yuri cry harder, his body trembling, and Ryosuke didn’t know how to help him, “Just…breathe, okay? I’m here…”

Minutes passed, the only sound from Yuri’s sniffles and sighs, and Ryosuke just continued to console him, to hold him and make sure he knew he was there, “I’ve got you–you’re okay, I’m here.”

After what felt like years to Ryosuke, finally, Yuri spoke, his voice hoarse and rough from crying, “I had a d-dream,” he took a shuddering breath, and Ryosuke tightened his hold on him as he trembled, “I-I th-thought that…that…that it wasn’t real.”

Ryosuke was confused, speaking softly, “What wasn’t real?”

This,” Yuri whispered, patting Ryosuke’s chest softly.

Ryosuke understood instantly, “Oh, Yuri…I’m sorry,” he pulled his head to his chest, holding him there against him, tilting his head down to kiss the top of his head, “I’m here, this…it’s real…trust me, now that I know how you feel, it will be hell to get rid of me.”

He smiled when Yuri laughed softly, tilting his head up, and Ryosuke’s heart clenched as he took in his tear stained face, never wanting to see this kind of sadness from him, but when he smiled, a small sweet grin, he knew everything would be okay, his voice shaking, “You promise?”

“I promise,” Ryosuke leaned his head forward, tapping his nose against Yuri’s, “I’m not going anywhere, ever.”

“O-okay,” Yuri’s body shuddered as he tried to get a good breath, leaning his head against Ryosuke’s chest, his fingers trailing up and down the arm in front of him, “I…I don’t want to be like that…scared…I don’t want to be.”

“Then don’t be,” Ryosuke said the words firmly, careful to not sound angry or upset, but he wanted, no, he needed Yuri to understand, “There’s plenty of things to worry about, but…me not being here? This not being real…that’s…well, I mean that just isn’t one of them.”

Yuri looked at him then, his eyes wide and unblinking, “Is it okay to…just be sure?”

Ryosuke tilted his head, not clear on what he meant at all, but the question vanished when Yuri tilted forward, closing the distance between them, his lips pressing against Ryosuke’s tenderly.

Ryosuke’s hand moved through Yuri’s hair, pulling him closer, humming softly against his lips as he let him take the lead, let him discover what he needed to–because Ryosuke had his own way of confirming this was reality and not a dream, and he knew that Yuri would need to figure out his own methods.

This was, after all, not a bad method, not at all.

The kiss made his toes curl in delight, and he wanted to push Yuri back and take over, but he knew he shouldn’t–he already knew this would be a challenge–to be patient, to not rush through all of the stages of a relationship just because they’d known each other so long–waited so long–but he wanted to savor this, the early moments, the build up, the slow growing into something more–and in his heart he knew that Yuri would too.

So when Yuri drew back, he let him, he didn’t stop him, even though the kiss ending was the last thing he wanted to happen–he let it, because he wanted to remember this, not have a blur of one season into another…but to experience every moment in exclusion.

Yuri’s smile was one of the most precious sights he’d ever seen in all of his life, as he ducked his head, seemingly bashful after the kiss that he’d initiated, and Ryosuke wanted to tease him but stopped himself, instead, he gestured to Yuri’s clothes, “You might sleep better if you put on some pajamas–I didn’t…I mean I wasn’t going to make you do it before, but now that you’re awake?”

Yuri nodded, and Ryosuke moved quickly to his dresser, pulling out a pajama set and handing it to Yuri. Very few things made the fact that they were really in this together real than when Yuri shuffled quickly to the bathroom to change. The stark contrast with the way things would have been done before the confession earlier–it was interesting to Ryosuke to consider that suddenly they were somehow shy with each other–despite having been together and experienced so many life changing events with one another–they were still so innocent and naive about being in a relationship, and he was glad for it.

Glad that they were not seasoned, so thankful they’d be figuring it all out together.

When Yuri stepped out of the bathroom, the pajamas a little too big for him, Ryosuke smiled, because he looked absolutely adorable, and all he wanted to do was hug, and kiss, and cuddle him, “Seeing you look so cute in your pajamas reminds me of why I fell in love with you.”

“Is that right?” Yuri glanced down to look at himself, “Wait til you see me in my Disney pajamas then–you’re going to lose your mind.”

Ryosuke laughed, and a vision flashed in front of his eyes, one where he saw himself standing up and closing the distance between them, sweeping Yuri into his arms and pulling him into a fierce kiss, but he shook his head, dismissing the vision.

There’s time for that, tonight…sleep.

He reached his arm over, patting the pillow beside him for Yuri to lay down.

Yuri scoffed, his eyes twinkling in the low light, and then darted across the room, bouncing on the bed, shuffling on his knees across the space between them, and then promptly laid down directly beside Ryosuke, grabbing and lifting his arm to wrap around him, then laid his head on his chest.

Ryosuke laughed, the bed shaking under them from his humor, and Yuri sat up, his expression clearly daring Ryosuke to deny him what he wanted,“Don’t say anything.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Ryosuke feigned innocence, lifting both hands in the air in a gesture of defeat.

“Good,” Yuri nodded, laying his head back down, “That’s what I thought.”

Ryosuke ran his hand across his back, then hugged him against him, smiling when Yuri snuggled into him, “I love you, Yuri.”

Yuri lifted his head to look at Ryosuke, smiling, “I love you,” he leaned forward in expectation, and Ryosuke tilted his head up from the pillow, kissing him gently, then laid his head back down, his finger tapping Yuri’s nose, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Yuri wiggled to get impossibly closer to him, and then nestled his head back down, and as Ryosuke had always envied, he seemed to fall directly to sleep.


January 14, 2014

Ryosuke didn’t know how much time had passed since he’d awakened, as he’d tried to be as still as he could be, lost in the soft sleeping noises that Yuri was making, lost in his thoughts, about how the sun seemed a little brighter coming in through the window this morning–how the birds outside seemed to sing with a little bit more joy, and all he could conclude was this was what true happiness felt like.

He thought, in truth, he’d always been happy–and he knew, he could acknowledge that he was happy before yesterday–but at the same time he couldn’t help but admit–it was pale…like there was a gray filter over everything–then suddenly, thanks to yesterday–everything was in bright, vibrant technicolor, and he couldn’t believe he was so blessed.

He smiled when he felt Yuri shift, watching as he rolled sideways, his body stretching out like a small kitten as he yawned loudly, then he sat up quickly, blinking, and turning instantly to look at Ryosuke, his eyes wide, “Oh, thank God…”

“I’m still here,” Ryosuke mused, glad he’d stayed, because he thought maybe Yuri would wake up freaking out after the dream he’d had, relieved that he followed his instincts, smiling, “I love you.”

Yuri smiled, shifting to lay back down next to him, his hand moving to pull Ryosuke’s face toward him, “I love you, I wonder if we’ll ever get tired of saying it out loud?” 

He didn’t give him a chance to answer, pressing forward and kissing him quickly and then beaming a wide smile, “Good morning!”

“Good morning,” Ryosuke grinned, “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm and I didn’t want to wake you.”

Yuri scoffed, “Well, what are you waiting for now?”

Ryosuke laughed, playfully shoving him away as he threw his legs over the side of bed, shuffling his feet to find his slippers, looking down when Yuri’s arms wrapped around his waist, tugging on him, “It’s too cold! Come back!”

He twisted looking back at Yuri who was blinking innocently behind him, “Please?”

“I thought you wanted breakfast,” Ryosuke tilted his head, blinking slowly, falling more in love with the little monster every second, trying hard to not laugh.

“I do, but first I want you to hug me,” Yuri widened his eyes, his bottom lip pursing forward into the perfect pout.

“You’re seriously going to have your way with me constantly, aren’t you?” Ryosuke tried to hide his smile as he shifted to lay back down.

“Most definitely,” Yuri teased, knowing full well that Ryosuke was just messing with him, mostly, “You better get used to doing what I want.”

Ryosuke wrapped his arms around him, holding him tenderly as he pressed a kiss to his forehead, “I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing that since the first day we met.”

Yuri blinked, his smile full of mischief, “Maybe, but I have an entirely new set of demands now.”

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