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6. I Don’t Mean To.
Multi-chapter
Reading Time: 30 minutes
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Details
Idol

Yamada Ryosuke

Relationship

Yamada x OC

Ship Name

Yamada Ryosuke x Elliot Meadows

Type

Chaptered Story

Genre

Fluffy, Romance, Slice of Life, Idol Romance

Rating

PG-13 (Strong Language)

Warnings

Animal death, veterinarian situations

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Synopsis

Chinen-san had talked to her yesterday, and delivered the message from Ryosuke, and didn’t she resolve to try? Didn’t she? And Saya had been so encouraging, she really helped her see all of the possibilities and how silly it was to not try–and she did promise her to try! Didn’t she?

I did. I promised.

She wouldn’t break that promise to Saya, the promise to try.

I won’t do it. I won’t break that promise.

I don’t mean to.

“Hello…”

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Story Rating

“So here’s the thing, you text me and tell me what she says, and I’ll text you and tell you what he says? Give me your cellphone.” 

Saya was staring at Yuri like he was positively out of his mind, “You want my cellphone?”

“Unless you prefer we send letters through the mail, this seems like the easiest form of communication?”

“I suppose,” she unlocked her phone, handing it to him, confused about how quickly the entire conversation had happened–though, they both certainly agreed, they needed to help Elliot and Ryosuke.

Yuri handed her his phone after he unlocked it so she could put her info into his, and once they were done they traded phones back.

“So…we have a name for this operation?” he asked excitedly.

“Ah…I’ll leave that up to you,” she laughed nervously, which was weird, because she wasn’t ordinarily a nervous type person, but he sort of unnerved her.

After he’d left she received a text from him within minutes.

Yuri: Operation Get Them Together. We’ll just call it “Get”. What do you think?

Saya: Sounds good!

Yuri: Hey, Saya?

Saya: Hmm?

Yuri: Go out with me?

Saya: LOL No.

Yuri: Why not?

Saya: Because I don’t even know you!

Yuri: Isn’t that why you date someone?

Yuri: 〈(゜。゜)

Saya: Because…I’m too busy!

Yuri: That’s the worst excuse I’ve ever heard. I’m devastated.

Saya: OMG you’re FINE you don’t even know me either.

Saya:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yuri: That’s the reason I asked you on a date!? 

Yuri:  (`_´)ゞ

Yuri: How else am I supposed to get to know you?

Saya:  UGH. I’ve gotta go work!

Yuri: I’ll ask tomorrow.

Yuri:  ♡+* Ɗɑɫë Më *+♡

Saya: The answer isn’t going to change.

Saya: <(`^´)>

Yuri: We’ll see…

Yuri:   (◦˘ З(◦’ںˉ◦) Ȼ ɧ ư ♡


Elliot had left the house early enough to check on her park—she chastised herself for calling it ‘her’ park, since it obviously wasn’t, but since she’d moved into her neighborhood, she felt like it was hers. In particular since she’d been putting so much blood, sweat and tears into it lately she felt an even greater sense of belonging there. She moved slowly down the wrought iron fence, frowning as she grasped the gate, peeking through to see the disarray of what was once a beautiful, lovely place of comfort in the midst of such a chaotic city. She frowned, trying to figure out how she could possibly work her schedule to get inside to clean up the mess.

It made her heart hurt.

She’d been too busy with work, for several months now to get in there to try to keep the wild foliage tamed, and it showed. Even when she wasn’t busy with work, she found herself lost in her own thoughts, and too exhausted from the way her mind was always running to even think about leaving her house.

Everything was so confusing. Ryosuke had come to the clinic—so many times, so many days, with so many animals she couldn’t begin to guess where they’d all come from. Eventually, the staff tried to hide his presence in the building from her because they could see how the light in her eyes faded a little each time he was mentioned. She tried her best to hide it, and maybe some of them bought it but she never could hide anything from Saya or Mako…they just knew her too well.

She couldn’t stop thinking about him though, and every time he was in the building she cringed, because the overwhelming desire she felt was to run to him. Sometimes she had to go to the bathroom and give herself a firm talking to, and other times, her entire body trembled the whole day, with the need to go see him.

Her life had been filled with  nothing but self-denial for these past many months.

She knew all of the feelings she’d felt, that all of it, undoubtedly was probably all an illusion her overactive imagination had created, and her own Mother, kind as she is had admonished her for getting caught up in such a ‘whimsical’ scenario. She sometimes couldn’t help but resent the fact that her mother, which of her own account, was a very imaginative and delightful person, had pushed Elliot from the earliest of age to be more than she had become herself. To embrace her intelligence, to be bold and outspoken, and to be above everything else, practical.

It didn’t matter how much she’d done, all of the attempts to keep her feet firmly planted on the ground—from the first time her Grandmother from America had read her the story of Cinderella and Snow White, she was hooked…the part of her that was a romantic, sappy fool began to develop on that day when she was four, and it had never stopped.

She’d hidden the books she’d read, covering them with other book covers so that her Mom would think she was reading some sensible book, and not another fanciful tale about other worlds, other lives, other fantasies, wrapped up in magical enchantments that always left her heart fluttering.

She just couldn’t shake it, the thing inside of her that wanted to go talk to him, to find out who he really was, if all the glitter and glow and sparkles were taken away from him—who was the real Yamada Ryosuke? She knew she might hate him if she knew—if he really was the person that Miki had described him as—if he really was just a self-absorbed, pretentious jerk who didn’t care about anyone or anything other than his own personal pleasure?

If it came to that, then she’d rather just continue to not know, to just pretend that there was at least a small part of him that had reached out to her for a better reason, a kinder reason, a more romantic reason than to simply use her. To keep the magical enchantment of ‘Yamada Ryosuke’ alive inside of her, instead of it falling to the ground in the cold face of reality, she’d prefer that, she wanted it.

Yet, something inside her, the smallest voice speaking so very softly, imploring straight to her heart, kept telling her to just go, to move, to let her feet carry her into his arms, and that part of her was resistant to practicality, or reality, or really, anything other than the phrase ‘happily ever after’.

So, one night she’d given into the voices, after he’d come to the clinic the fifth time, she opened her browser, and she did it, despite her mind screaming that she was a crazy fool for even punishing herself by digging deeper—she had…in fact, dug deeper. She’d found the internet was a bounty full of information about Yamada Ryosuke. She’d read scans of interviews, thousands it would seem, she’d watched videos of him—some of them music videos, concert videos, television shows, variety shows, movies…she’d been lost in the rabbit hole for well over a two months.

It was hard to reconcile—the person he presented himself as when he was portraying the idol—with the person she’d met in her clinic. They seemed worlds apart—at least at first glance they did.

Then, she’d really dug deep past the surface and found things that caused the conflict within her to grow deeper. He was so caring for others, he gave of his time, energy, and talent to help others, they way he spoke about his family, and the other group members—and he was so kind-hearted—he’d been caught multiple times when the staff were hoping to show him being selfish or unkind—and rather, each time he’d been shown going above and beyond expectations to help others, to comfort them, to take care of them. Those things felt truer than the other part she’d seen, the self-confident, center ace that he was in the group.

He said he was bashful with girls, talked about how he didn’t see himself the way others did—the parts of himself he was insecure about, and she’d had a really hard time processing that—because he was beautiful. It nearly hurt to look at him, and she could see no flaw to be found in him, but he had a long list of things he thought were not manly enough, or good enough, and she wanted to cry, because how could he be so disillusioned?

He wasn’t self-centered, from what she’d found it was quite the opposite, in fact, he’d put himself in a position over and over again to be made fun of, to make people laugh, to bring that kind of positive energy to his group, and he was silly and goofy and seemed to just be completely relaxed in the parts she’d seen from behind the scenes of the group’s video shoots. Clearly, they all possessed a very unique and deep bond with one another—it was undeniable.

She’d been shocked to find out how long he’d been in the business…how he’d pretty much been raised as a Johnny, and then the insecurities made more sense to her—because how hard must it have been to grow from a young boy into a man in front of the public? To go through the awkward teenage stage having every single phase fully documented with pictures and videos and shows? It had to be horrible, and if the only thing he came out of that with was a few insecurities then he was a miracle, they all kinda were as far as she could tell.

Of course, despite trying to avoid them, she’d run across plenty of the rumors and the speculation and all of the things that people said, the good, the bad, the ugly. It was strange to her how obsessed people were, and reading comments she understood why Johnny’s had created such a strict environment to keep the idols from having relationships. There were a lot of fans who expected it. 

Absolutely did not want them to break the fantasy.

It didn’t seem fair to Elliot and she felt a sense of injustice, but then she knew she didn’t fully understand anything about that lifestyle and what it might demand. It made her sad to think about the people who had come and gone through these boy’s lives, all having the potential to be the love of their lives, and they had to live with the denial of that. It just didn’t seem right, and the more she learned the more it tortured her, the more it hurt her.

It felt to her like her rejection, if she was indeed wrong about Ryosuke’s intentions, then…her rejection, it would have been a slap to the face on so many levels. She never wanted to hurt him, she just didn’t want to be hurt by him.

That’s all.

After crying herself to sleep one night, she woke up the next day furious with herself, throwing her tablet across the room, breaking it, and feeling stupid for being so caught up in it all. She’d resigned herself to get a grip, pick herself up and carry on.

She shook her head, hand tight on the cold metal under her hand, trying to get rid of the memory because today was a different day, wasn’t it?

Chinen-san had talked to her yesterday, and delivered the message from Ryosuke, and didn’t she resolve to try? Didn’t she? And Saya had been so encouraging, she really helped her see all of the possibilities and how silly it was to not try–and she did promise her to try! Didn’t she?

I did. I promised.

She wouldn’t break that promise to Saya, the promise to try. 

I won’t do it. I won’t break that promise. 

I don’t mean to. 

“Hello…”

She jumped, squealing when the voice spoke behind her, one hand slapping against her fluttering heart, the other covering her mouth, as she turned to find Ryosuke standing there, hands in his pocket, shuffling his feet, eyes cast to the ground between them.

“Sorry! I—I didn’t mean to scare you,” he murmured, and she laughed, shaking her head.

“Oh, gosh, I think I just had a heart attack,” she took a deep breath, releasing it slowly, calming her nerves, “It’s okay…wh-what are you doing here, Yamada-san?”

His eyes lifted to catch hers, and she didn’t miss the flash of irritation moving across his features before he schooled it, “You can call me Ryosuke.”

She shook her head without even meaning to, “I—I don’t…I.”

He stepped up to the gate beside her, looking curiously into the park, “It’s fine, you don’t need to now, whenever you’re ready but…I don’t mind, that’s all.”

“O-okay,” she focused beyond the gate, wondering what he was thinking about her—damn it—the park.

“I’m sorry I was so forward the last time I saw you,” he glanced over to her, then quickly back into the park, “I shouldn’t have…I should have not been so demanding, and I’m sorry if I was too familiar with you…calling you Elliot and all….”

She hummed, not sure it was something she wanted him to apologize for, because on her own, without his words that day she certainly wouldn’t be standing here speaking to him right now.

She heard him take a deep breath before speaking, “I guess I’d been thinking about you so much…I just felt…like I knew you better than I did…so…it just flew out of my mouth…”

He shifted a bit, staring at her, tilting his head down, “Please accept my apology.”

She wanted to tell him that if anyone was going to be accused of feeling like they knew the other better than they truly did—it would be her, hands down, after the exhaustive amount of research into his idol persona, but she just nodded, “It’s…it really is okay…I’m not sure—it is…just…“

Stupid, stupid words…PLEASE.

“I don’t mind if you call me Elliot.”

There, she’d said it, and she meant it…and she didn’t care if it made sense to anyone else, because in just such a short time they’d passed some wall, no, they didn’t pass it, they knocked through it with a sledgehammer to be standing where they were. They weren’t trying to be normal, not at all, they were trying to be something else because they were something else, she supposed, and she wasn’t going to put limitations on it, if she was in, she was going all in.

Plus…he may be capable of producing some of the most beautiful lyrical creations in the universe, but nothing, absolutely nothing sounded more breathtakingly melodic than her name on his lips.

Nothing.

His eyes widened, and she felt a heat rising to her cheeks because it felt to her like in that moment he could read her thoughts and despite not really feeling embarrassed, it still felt too intimate to her, so she turned, shyly looking away from him to stare at the flowers slowly being strangled out by weeds.

It was quiet for a while and she imagined that he was trying to figure her out, and she wished she had a map to hand to him to guide him through her personality—to offer him insight like she’d gained through her search.

“What are you doing here?” He asked finally, curious about why she’d approached the park. He’d been waiting for her, for several hours, because he had missed one promised day with her, and he intended to find out, discover what was going to happen between them after the letter he’d written, and he didn’t have the patience to wait another day, let alone another hour.

“Ah…well, the owner of the property passed away, and his family didn’t intend to maintain it until after all of the affairs were sorted—so…well, I have been keeping it tended since then.”

She took a deep breath, disappointment in her words, “But…I got really busy and I haven’t been able to work on it, and now it’s so…it’s so messed up, I don’t think I’ll be able to get it under control…”

She tilted her head, closing her eyes to go over her schedule, “I won’t even be able to come to work on it until Friday…it will be even worse then.”

Ryosuke hummed, glancing at her and frowning when he saw how unhappy she was, “I’m sorry, is there anything I can do?”

Her eyes darted to him, wide and curious, “Wh—what? No! Of course, thank you, you don’t have any responsibility here!”

He nodded, wondering at the phrasing she’d used, wondering at how quickly she dismissed him, uncertain of what it meant.

“Can I walk you to work?”

She glanced down at her watch, still having a bit of time to spare, “I don’t have to be there for another hour…would you…it’s okay if you don’t, but would you like to…see the park?”

He smiled brightly and she felt like she needed to squint because it was so dazzling, “I’d love that!”

“O-okay,” she reached into her pocket to pull out her keys, carefully unlocking the gates and opening them, letting him step through before she locked them back.

As they walked through the park, there was a comfortable silence between them, and she was able to take a deep breath, in the environment that she was so comfortable in, to her, it felt as if he belonged there too.

She took him through the paths, circling around the park, pointing out all of the interesting features, showing him the butterfly field, and as they passed a wall of trees he gestured to it, “What’s past there?”

Elliot glanced to the trees, then shrugged, “I haven’t ever looked at a map, so don’t hold me to it, but if I understood correctly, that is also land that the benefactor owned. His family owned almost all of this region and have sold it off bit by bit over the course of many years. I don’t know what is there, but I honestly think it’s just more woods. About 50 acres worth, if I am remembering right.”

He stared at the wall of trees, then nodded, “That’s amazing that there is that much forest so close to the city! No wonder this area is so peaceful, the trees block a lot of noise.”

“They do! It makes it very serene here!”

She’d led him to the fountain and they sat on the bench there. Her eyes growing wide when he shifted to turn his body toward her, his expression serious.

“I meant what I said in the letter, Elliot,” his voice was firm, absolute, “If you don’t want to…try to be anything else than friends…we can just be—be friends, alright? I’d, I mean, it’s true, I said it that I would let that happen, I could be happy to j-just be your friend. I just…I just don’t want to not be…”

He faded off, his hand rising to pinch the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes, shaking his head, and a small quiet growl was issued, then taking a deep breath he looked at her again, “I suck at this.”

She couldn’t help it, she couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up out of her against her will, but he was so earnest! He was trying so hard, she could tell from every part of his presence that he was sincerely wanting to say the right words, the words he thought she needed to hear.

He laughed too, and something in the air changed, the tension suddenly released, and she reached over, placing her hand on his hand resting on the bench between them, and his eyes looked comically large as he stared at them and then looked up to her, in wonderment.

“R-Ryosuke,” she took a deep breath, “…I want to try.”

She nodded, a sharp nod, “I want to take the risk.”

She watched as his body expanded with a deep breath, his expression still uncertain, still unsure, and she squeezed his fingers, trying to convey what she meant, “We’ve went about this…all wrong, you know? We’ve already twisted it all up into a great big knot…we’ve done things so chaotic and out of order and we’re just…we’re a real mess…”

He laughed softly, nervously, nodding, as she continued, “B-but…Ryosuke, you were right.”

She took a deep breath, swallowing down her nerves, “There is something here.”

He stared at her, and for a moment it felt like all the world faded away, his expression so soft, so full of a gentle care, such a countenance of genuine, beautiful affection, that she wanted to cry, because she’d spent her life reading sappy romance novels that described this face, this expression he was making, and she never imagined in her wildest dreams someone would look at her that way. 

He moved, his body shifting forward and she felt every fiber of her body trembling because he was in her bubble, he was so close, and she could smell him, and it was so warm to her. A scent that seemed to fit in the environment, bittersweet fruit, and vanilla, and amber, and some softer notes that made her mind drift to the ocean, and flowers…it wafted through the air and she wanted to lean forward and inhale deeply to make sure she remembered the scent—but her entire being was screaming to run away because he was so close, too close.

His hand lifted, pushing her hair behind her ear, and she shivered, she cursed her body for being so transparent, then slowly his hand moved, his fingers light on her skin as it glided along her jaw, gently cupping her face, his thumb stroking across the tender skin on her cheek, his expression unreadable, but then there was a twinkle, a light in his eyes, and he grinned, speaking quickly, “You’ll find, Dr. Meadows, that I am always right.”

It took her a moment to process what he’d said, his closeness making her confused and overwhelmed and then she blinked, once, twice, and then she shoved him back playfully, “Oh my God,” she laughed, “is that the kind of person you are!? A tease!?”

He was laughing too then, nodding, his hands clapping together softly in front of him, “Certainly!”

Glancing down at his watch, he frowned, “I think I should deliver you to your work—I don’t want to be blamed for making you late.”

She realized how quickly time had passed, regretful that it had, and they made their way out of the park to the clinic. Though the walk getting there was fun as she told him about the different shops and people she knew on the streets, and at one point, his hand hit hers, just a brush against it, and then, her pinkie finger was caught in his, and he held her hand that way all the way to the clinic. She didn’t know how wonderful it could feel to just have a simple connection like that to another person, and was sad when his hand slowly fell away as they approached the door.

An awkward feeling swelled up around them when they reached the door, and for a moment, the same Ryosuke who had been on the sidewalk earlier was there again, looking down, feet shuffling, and hands in his pockets, “C-could, Elliot, do you, th-think that I could I take you to dinner?”

The words were soft, small, and she wondered if he actually thought she would say no at this point…and then she realized he certainly did think that—remembering Chinen-san’s words from the day before.

“None of us at Johnny’s has the slightest idea of how to be in relationships. We don’t even know how to properly talk to women or date them or anything. We are all wanting to learn. There’s not a single part of Ryosuke that would take you lightly.”

 He might not go about things the most normal way.”

She looked at him, the words resonating in her mind, and suddenly, she felt strong, felt sure, and she knew it was okay to just say the truth, to make sure he was sure so he wouldn’t be afraid, so he would be on the same page. Because she had no idea what she was doing either!

She’d never dated, never even saw a guy as anything more than a study partner or associate—never entertained any ideas of romance or relationship—she had no idea what she was doing, and probably would be the last person in the universe to look to for some idea of a normal way to approach a relationship given the fact that most of her source materials were written by the legendary The Brothers Grimm, Charles Perrault, Hans Christian Andersen, Joseph Jacobs, Andrew Lang, and of course Walt Disney.

Nope, she didn’t have any real understanding of how thing should be done, rather, she just knew what she felt, and being honest seemed like the right way to handle anything moving forward. 

It feels right.

She stepped forward, and she saw it, the way he flinched, wanting to back up, because he clearly didn’t know if it was okay to stand that close, to be that close to her, his eyes darting around the area like he was worried someone was going to admonish him.

They really did ruin you guys, didn’t they?

She looked up at him, smiling, trying to make sure he saw that she was at complete peace, hoping to push the feeling out into him, and she spoke, the words a whisper, “I want to go with you anywhere you want to take me.”

His eyes were wide, unblinking as she continued, “I want to know—everything about you, Ryosuke—I want to know who you really are. I want you to take me to dinner. I want you to take me anywhere. I want to spend time with you, I want to see where you’re ticklish, I want to know what it feels like to hold your hand. I want to know what your favorite foods are, what color looks the best on you, what your favorite song is, how you fold clothes.”

His expression was still caught in the uncertainty, and she reached forward, grabbing his wrists, and he pulled his hands out of his pockets, grasping hers when she moved them down to hold them, “Ryosuke, I don’t have the most remote, the most foggiest idea of what I’m doing either.”

He nodded, understanding, and tilted his head at her confession, “But…isn’t it okay if we just…do what feels right instead of overthinking? Because…overthinking is why we messed up everything from the start, isn’t it?”

She shook her head then, frowning, pain crossing her face instantly, and then her eyes were sad, sorrowful when she looked at him, “Th-that was all on me. I did…not you, and I’m sorry, for making you hurt, and making you wait, and you were far more patient, far more devo—“

His finger shot up to rest across her lips, “Shh, Shh,” he murmured, shaking his head, smiling a gentle smile that made her knees weak, “Don’t. Don’t do that, that’s done, it’s over, and like you just said…we can just do what feels right for the two of us.”

He nodded, and then his hand moved, and she couldn’t breathe, his hand moving across her shoulder and then down her arm as he moved forward, his shoulder pressing against hers for a moment, then reaching behind her and she gasped, not sure what he was doing, and then he was smiling mischievously as he drew his hand forward, holding the cell phone that had been her back pocket in his hand.

He clicked the button on the side, the screen lighting up and he smiled when he saw the image of a dog on the lock screen. She watched him curiously, as he stared at the screen, and then he clicked buttons, and she gasped when the phone unlocked, his eyes shifting up to look at her, and then back down at the phone as he opened her contacts, typing quickly.

“H—how did you do that!?”

He finished putting his information into her phone, then turned it back around, the screen lit up with her puppy’s picture, he nodded down to the phone, and she stared at it for a moment before looking back up at him, confused.

“Your dog’s name is Sassy,” he shrugged.

She couldn’t understand, taking the phone from his hand, staring at the screen, and then looking back up at him, amused and teasing, “Are you stalking me?”

He laughed, a deep belly laugh, nodding his head, “I swear, I wasn’t—okay, I mean it! I know we all really didn’t handle things correctly, but I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was overstepping!”

“I’m kidding, Ryosuke, calm down, I just…. how?”

“You told me the day we met, about your dog, that her name’s Sassy,” he murmured, smiling, his shoulders drawing up into a shrug.

“But th-that was months ago! It was…you didn’t even know me then! You’d just met me that day!”

He shifted forward and she drew her hands up between them, instinct wanting to push him back, and his hands moved to rest, like a whisper on her waist, and whatever softness there was in his fingers, his voice was firm, it was determined, “You should know this, right up front, Elliot…”

He paused, measuring whether she was really listening or too overwhelmed by the closeness to hear him, convinced she was understanding, he continued, “From the moment you walked into that room, I’ve paid attention to every single facet of who you are. I remember everything.”

She swallowed hard, knowing it was truth, and knowing that she was much the same, having replayed every interaction between them over and over again, so she nodded.

He moved, ever so slowly, so as to not startle her, and he pressed a soft, warm kiss on her cheek, his breath gentle on her cheek as he closed his eyes, and she bit her lip to keep from sighing out loud, his fingers tightening on her waist for a moment before he released her and stepped back, her heart beating out of her chest, and her hands grabbing her phone tightly to keep them from shaking.

He grinned, and it was a feeling coming across the distance between them, a kind of sweetness she couldn’t place, and then he winked, “You have two minutes before your shift starts.”

She had no idea how he kept track of time so precisely, but she nodded, dumbfounded, his words soft on her skin, then he tapped the phone in her hand, grinning, because he caught on fast to how unnerved she was, saw immediately that she was highly effected by him, and he liked it. Sure, he was just as effected by her, but he was a trained actor. He was good at hiding it, but she was utterly and completely, hopelessly transparent.

When she didn’t acknowledge the phone, he grabbed her hands in his, shaking them softly, “Elliot, send me your schedule,” he nodded his head to the phone, and she snapped her jaw shut.

He laughed, he couldn’t help it, she was so adorable all discombobulated by him, and he reached forward to the tag hanging off her bag, turning her with his other arm toward the door, as he slid the card through the slot, the light indicating the door was unlocked, opening it quickly.

He wasn’t particularly surprised to see Saya standing there holding a stack of pink clothes in her hands, she seemed to take care of Elliot from the moment she walked into the clinic as far as he could tell, something he greatly appreciated. That said, Saya most definitely appeared shocked to see him with Elliot. He couldn’t help but laugh, wondering if this is the effect he had on everyone or just these girls—because he didn’t make a habit of caring about other people—at least not in a relationship, ‘I want to understand you’ kind of way—so it was all very new to him.

He released the card and it snapped back to her waist, his hand pushing on the small of her back to guide her through the door. She turned, rapidly, her eyes wide, as if she had so many other things to say and she might not ever get to say them and he understood, he felt it too.

“Have a good day, Dr. Meadows,” he winked at her then, and she felt it radiate all the way down to her toes, “I look forward to your message.”

And then he turned to walk back down the alley to the main road, and she was leaning out the door watching him go, jumping when Saya spoke, not realizing she was also watching him walk away, “What in the…”

“You aren’t going to believe it!” Elliot laughed lightly, smiling when he leaned back around the corner to wink again, clearly knowing that they’d both been staring at him as he left, moving into the clinic and closing the door.

It really is unbelievable.

Elliot grabbed the clothes out of Saya’s hands, moving inside to the screen to change, and Saya watched her, then closed the door, “Well, are you going to tell me?”

“There’s not much to tell…he walked me to work today,” Elliot spoke from the other side of the screen, then stepped out to put her clothes up and took the clipboard out of Saya’s hand, glancing over the schedule for the day.

“He…he came to your house again?”

“No, he met me at the park,” Elliot shrugged, “I mean, I think he feels guilty for the house thing really,” she couldn’t help but laugh, sighing softly, “He was waiting for me.”

“Wow, I just can’t beli—“

Her words were cut off by the message tone from Elliot’s cell phone, and she reached to grab it out of the pants pocket where she’d left it, quickly opening it, her eyes growing wide, as her cheeks grew red with embarrassment.

Saya stepped beside her to read the message, her mouth popping open when she saw it.


Ryosuke:  You still haven’t sent your schedule to me.


Elliot quickly typed a response…


Elliot: I haven’t even finished getting dressed yet!

Ryosuke: I’m turning around and coming back…


Saya squealed and Elliot reached over to smack her arm, laughing, “Oh my God, he’s….it’s too much!”

Saya smiled, nodding her head, “I think it’s just right.”

She left the room, telling her over her shoulder, “Your first patient is in ten minutes, so get your flirting done before then!”

Elliot nodded without looking up, smiling as a new message arrived.


Ryosuke:  That was a joke, I’d love to come back, but I have to go to the studio today. Still, I’m not kidding about the schedule.

Elliot: One minute.

Elliot: Okay, this week’s schedule:

Elliot: Today 11-8, Tomorrow: 8-5 but I have dinner with my parents, Friday: I’m off but will be working at the park all day, but maybe later in the evening? On Saturday, I work from 8-3 so we could maybe do something after work?

Ryosuke: Hmmm, okay, Saturday, don’t make plans, k?

Ryosuke:  (*゚∀゚*)

Elliot: Okay!


She stared at the screen, waiting, for what she had no idea—and she started to walk, guessing he’d maybe made it to work and was caught up in things, she jumped when her phone indicated there was a new message.


Ryosuke: Thank you for giving me a chance, Elliot, I am really happy to be making plans with you.

Ryosuke:  o(^▽^)o


She did a little happy dance in place, quickly typing back.


Elliot: Thank you for being patient, I’m super happy too!

Elliot:  ◦°˚\(*❛‿❛)/˚°◦

Ryosuke: I’m at work, but I want to sit here in my car and talk to you longer.

Ryosuke:  ( .. )

Elliot: Me too, I have my first patient in three minutes!

Elliot:  (´Д` )

Ryosuke: Sigh. I guess we should go be responsible adults and not love-struck teenagers.

Ryosuke:  o(╥﹏╥)o


Her heart squeezed at the word love and then it fluttered wildly as it rolled around in her mind.


Elliot: Okay, I’ll be good then, you have a good day and I will talk with you later! I keep my phone in my locker so it won’t be with me today.

Elliot:  ( ̄▽ ̄)ノ

Ryosuke: You have a good day too! Take care of YOU while you take care of all of the furry ones too!

Ryosuke: (*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡


Saya had left the room, running over to Mako to whisper what had happened and then quickly went to the empty counseling room, opening her phone and tapping out a message:

Saya:  OMG OMG OMG it happened! It happened!

Chinen: What!? What happened!?!

Chinen: TELL ME SAYA TELL ME!

Saya:  Yamada walked her to work this morning!

Chinen: WAHHHHHAHHAHHFHHFHSHF YEEYEYYEYYSYYYSYYYSYSSSSSSSS OMG OMG YAAASSSS!!!!

Chinen:  (((o(*゚▽゚*)o)))

Saya: I KNOW!

Saya: O(≧▽≦)O 

Chinen:  WE DID IT!

Chinen: ♡(*´∀`*)人(*´∀`*)♡

Chinen: I knew all of our devious plans of world domination–er…making those two fall madly in love would work! 

Chinen: ヽ(*´∀`)ノ゙

Saya: Hahahaha Yeah! We did good!!!

Saya: They were so stupidly cute I can’t hardly handle it!

Chinen: Okay, Ryosuke will be here in a bit and I’ll let you know if he says anything!

Saya: Okay! I’ll let you know if Elliot does!

Saya: o(^∀^*)o

Chinen: Hey, Saya?

Saya: Hmm?

Chinen: Go out with me?

Chinen: ( ื▿ ืʃƪ)

Saya: No can do!

Chinen: But WHY NOT!?

Chinen:  (⊙.☉)7

Saya: OMG CHINEN-SAN! I have had to tell you no everyday since we met! No!

Chinen: But…WHYyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!

Chinen:  。゚ヽ(゚´Д`)ノ゚。 

Saya: I wish you’d stop asking me! It hurts my feelings to tell you no everyday!

Chinen: Then STOP SAYING NO!

Chinen: (;¬_¬)

Chinen:  That’s the easiest solution you could get. 

Chinen:  STOP SAYING NO!!!!

Saya: I told you already!

Chinen:  Oh, I know what you told me…you’re ‘too busy’ to think about dating someone.

Chinen:  <(`^´)>

Saya: I am too busy.

Chinen: No, I’m busy, compared to my life you live a life of leisure.

Saya: Kiss my ass!

Chinen: OHHHHHH Now we’re talking!

Chinen:  ~(^з^)-♡

Saya: I’m turning my phone off.

Chinen: Fine. I’ll text if Yama-chan says something.

Saya: Chinen-san, Please, don’t be upset, I’m glad that we are friends!

Chinen: That’s fine. 

Chinen: For now.

Chinen: At least you could call me Yuri. 

Saya: Argh. I’ll think about it.

Chinen: ╭( ・ㅂ・)و ̑̑ " 

Saya:  ¯\_(⌣̯̀⌣́)_/¯

Chinen:  ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ 


When Elliot had finally left work she was exhausted, actually letting Saya drive her home because she was so tired. She made it upstairs, letting Sassy out of her crate, and loving on her, sitting on the couch so she could be still for a minute. She remembered she hadn’t turned her cellphone on since that morning after Ryosuke left her at the clinic.

She grabbed it out of her pocket, pushing the button and waiting for it to turn on. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw the message count, quickly opening them.


Ryosuke: So, It’s lunch time. I wonder, do you make your own lunch or do you buy lunch from take out, or are you one of those types who skips lunch because you’re too busy?

Ryosuke:  I don’t skip meals.

Ryosuke:  (๑╹ڡ╹๑) I eat…a lot. All the time lol

Ryosuke: Apparently, Chii-chan says that you need proof.

Ryosuke: 

image

Ryosuke: That’s the catering table, Johnny’s usually has a local restaurant bring our lunches in. It’s a huge table, and it’s got dozens of them on it. No, those aren’t mine, though, I could probably eat two of them!

Ryosuke: Gotta go back to work now. 

Ryosuke:  (,, ・∀・)ノ゛

Ryosuke: I really hope you do eat lunch.

Ryosuke: ヾ(*´∀`*)ノ

Ryosuke: Hey, Dr. Meadows, this is Okamoto Keito. I just wanted to say hi, shhh, Yama-chan is recording and doesn’t know I’m writing to you. So, how are you? Good? I wondered, how many animals do you own yourself? How many do you treat a week?

Ryosuke: 

image

Ryosuke: Look, Yama-chan is working really hard! Let me see if I can figure out how to send a video!

Ryosuke: 

Ryosuke: Ahh I did it! I did it!!!

Ryosuke: 

image

Ryosuke: This is me and Yutti!

image

Ryosuke:  He says hi by the way! We’re all really happy for Yama-chan! Please take good care of him!

Ryosuke: 

image

Ryosuke: Chii-chan and Dai-chan both wanted me to send a picture of them to you. They also both say ‘hi’, though Chii-chan said to say ‘you’re welcome’. I don’t know what he means by that. 

Ryosuke: Yama-chan has talked about you non-stop since he met you! He really likes you.

Ryosuke: 

Ryosuke: The song he just started recording up there is a love song. He wrote it. It’s really pretty. I bet he’ll really want to kill me for saying this, but you should ask him to show you the lyrics. 

Ryosuke:  You know, for reasons. Not cause he wrote it about someone specific or anything…but….you know. Without saying it directly, you get it right? He can’t be mad if I didn’t actually say it. Right?

Ryosuke: He is checking some lyrics…and eating. You know…he eats a lot. Like if you cook for him you should probably make enough for three people, cause he eats for two people!

Ryosuke:

Ryosuke: He’s back recording now! He just reached the bridge part that is super special…

Ryosuke: 

Ryosuke: We don’t mean to make him feel weird or stuff, even though we are because we’re making such a big deal about all of this, but you know, he’s never been so serious about anything like this before, about anyone ever before, and it’s sweet to see him like this. You know? 

Ryosuke: That smile…that’s about you I think, I mean, I know it is…it’s a different one, and it’s only been there since you, and all any of us would ever want is for him to smile!

Ryosuke: You made him real happy and you were ignoring him for a long time and he was still happy at just thinking there was a chance with you. Today, he’s like so excited and happy and has not stopped smiling because of you!

Ryosuke: Thanks for making him so happy Dr. Meadows! He deserves it he is

Ryosuke: Uh-oh, I think Yama-chan just realized I’m recording on his phone!

Ryosuke: 

Ryosuke:  ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ノ EEEEE

Ryosuke: Gotta go! BYE BYE!

Ryosuke:  For the love of…I’m sorry. Really.

Ryosuke:  <(`^´)>

Ryosuke:  Those guys!

Ryosuke:  Well, maybe it’s better you find this out now…being a part of my life pretty much means they are a part of your life too. In particular, Keito and Chii-chan. I’m real sorry!

Ryosuke:  I’ll understand if this changes things.

Ryosuke:  ( .. )

Ryosuke:  I lied. I really wouldn’t, not at all. Please don’t believe what I just said.

Ryosuke:  (╯•﹏•╰)

Ryosuke:  Please don’t change anything, not a single thing unless it’s to be happier.

Ryosuke:  (●´∀`)ノ♡

Ryosuke:  Gotta go work again. I’m taking my phone with me this time! haha

Ryosuke:  Yama-chan left his phone laying on the mixing board!

Ryosuke: This is Chii-chan. I’ll send something for you! 

Ryosuke: OMG Keito won’t leave me alone–he wants me to say “it’s about you” for some reason!? I have no idea, but he said as long as I type it–HE can’t get in trouble. Hopefully this makes some kind of sense to you!

Ryosuke: Here’s what I was going to send!

Ryosuke: 

Ryosuke: He’s a dork. Are you sure that you want him and not one of the other guys? There’s a lot of us to choose from! 

Ryosuke: ヾ(๑’౪`๑)ノ゙

Ryosuke:  He’s a cute dork though, right? I have always thought that Yama-chan was the cutest guy in the world. I totally know what you see in him. 

Ryosuke: That sounded weird. I’m not interested in him. I have my sights set on someone of the female persuasion.

Ryosuke:  Speaking of someone, has Saya mentioned me at all? Anything? You don’t have to tell me, of course, but….well, DID SHE!?

Ryosuke:  ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ Please tell me!!!

Ryosuke: Let’s see…waiting to be called is so boring. Did you know that he plays the saxophone? He’s working in studio today with it!

Ryosuke: 

image

Ryosuke: He’s so talented, next to me he’s the most talented guy in Jump. hehe

Ryosuke: He’s almost done and I’m next so have a good day, and please tell Saya I said ‘hi!’ and…I dunno, you should encourage her to give me a chance like the kind you’re giving Yama-chan. 

Ryosuke:  Please. 

Ryosuke:  (‘-’*)

Ryosuke:   You know, I feel like I should apologize, but given the nature of what this is probably going to be like moving forward, I think I’d be apologizing constantly. We’re…close. I don’t think to hide my phone from them, because none of us have really had anything private we didn’t share. 

Ryosuke:   It will take me a little bit to get used to this. I’m sorry if they bother you though! Hmmm…you’re still working! I am leaving here in a few minutes. I have to go to my Mom’s house and then home. 

Ryosuke:   My Mom is making me dinner

Ryosuke:   \(^▽^)/ 

Ryosuke:   How do you eat when you get off work at eight?

Ryosuke:   Talk later!

Ryosuke:  (>^_^)><(^o^<)


Elliot couldn’t stop the smile that blossomed on her face, the entire conversation one of the cutest things she’d ever seen in her life, and she quickly typed back a response.


Elliot: Please don’t worry! I enjoyed their conversation, even if I didn’t see it until right now. 

Elliot: Please don’t kill Keito. 

Elliot: They all care so much about you. It makes me really happy and they are all quite entertaining and I loved the pictures and videos! It’s nice to see the other side of how you work! I usually pack a lunch but today had to get carry out because I forgot.

Elliot: I’m eating dinner right now, going to go put some ramen into the microwave, shower, eat and then off to bed for me. I’m super tired.

Ryosuke:   What? You’re having instant ramen for dinner after having a take out lunch? 

Ryosuke:   ヽ(。_°)ノ 

Ryosuke:   Not good. Don’t do that.

Ryosuke: Hello?

Ryosuke:  Elliot?!

Ryosuke:   Hmmm…did you already go to shower?

Ryosuke:   Don’t eat the ramen!

Ryosuke:   。・゚゚・(>д<)・゚゚・。


After a nice, long, hot shower, she felt a little better, heading to the kitchen and pulling her ramen out of the microwave, and then checking her phone.


Elliot:  You worry too much! It’s good!

image

Ryosuke:    OMG ELLIOT! DO NOT EAT THAT RAMEN!

Elliot:  LOL what are you so worked up about!?

Ryosuke:   That isn’t real food. 

Elliot: I eat this all the time.

Ryosuke: Oh God, I swear,  a tear just fell down my cheek, you’re killing me here. I’m going to dehydrate from all the tears.

Ryosuke:  。゚ヽ(゚´Д`)ノ゚。 

Elliot:  One cup of ramen is not going to kill me, you need to calm down.


She jumped when the phone started ringing and she quickly answered it, Ryosuke’s voice crisp and clear, if not a little out of breath, “Do not eat that ramen!”

She laughed, shaking her head, “Ryosuke! What in the world? I eat this all the time!”

He groaned loudly, and she felt like he had to be shaking his head, “Dear God, I just…if you do, please don’t tell me, just…don’t eat it, okay?”

She huffed, frustrated, “Well, I mean…I’m kinda starving here!”

He laughed, “I understand, just…Open your door.”

“W-What!?”

She could hear the smile in his voice, “I’m coming up your stairs, open your door! My hands are full!”

“Wh-what have you–what are you doing?”

She rushed over to the door, commanding that Sassy stay, phone still to her ear, pulling it open and looking down the hallway to see him turning the corner up the steps, heading toward her.

“Ryosuke! What in the world are you doing!?”

“Bringing you real food!” he laughed when he reached her door, gesturing his head, “Phone, please?”

She reached out to take the phone that had been pressed between his ear and shoulder, disconnecting the call. 

“Wh-what in the world did you do?” She couldn’t have been more shocked, his arms holding a large paper bag in them.

“I’m here with my Mom’s permission this time,” he laughed and she couldn’t help but laugh too since he’d told her how his Mom had responded to him coming to her apartment before.

“I’m just delivering, my Mom made it, she insisted that I bring it to you when she found out you weren’t eating real food, so if you have an issue,” he smiled broadly, leaning over to kiss her cheek quickly, a bright blush tinging his skin pink when he drew back, “you can take it up with her.”

“I-I–Ok-kay,” Elliot was at a loss for words, completely dumbfounded, and she just watched him helplessly until she finally realized how rude she was being, “C-come in!”

“I’d better not…” he frowned, and she could tell he was conflicted, “I have an early day tomorrow, and I feel like if I come in, I’ll want to stay.”

His eyes drifted over her like a caress, and she felt her skin heat when she realized she was wearing her kitten pajamas, the kind that have shorts and a matching top, and nothing else. His eyes snapped to hers, clearly amused at her realization, smiling, “Cute pajamas.”

“Shut up, I wasn’t expecting company–I was going to bed!”

He laughed lightly, and she shook her head, smiling brightly at him, “You could visit for a little while, eat with me?”

“I ate with my Mom, and no, I think you don’t understand,” he lifted the bag, holding it out to her, and she stepped forward to take it from his hands, when he spoke, his eyes serious, “I would want to stay.”

She nodded, confused, and then he’d leaned around the bag to kiss her cheek again, turning to walk back down the hallway, and she called out, “Be safe going home!”

“I will, don’t worry!”

“And thank you! Thank your Mom!”

“I will!”

She’d set the food out on her counter, staring at it and then she felt it, the tears streaming down her face, because she’d never had anyone who cared what she ate. It was such a new and unique feeling, and she was overwhelmed by it. 

After eating the delicious meal Ryosuke’s Mom had sent her, she made a mental note to send her some flowers or something in appreciation, she’d crawled into bed, turned off her light and started to drift off to sleep, but then, picked up her phone. 

Her hands were shaking as she typed the message, not sure why, but just still feeling very sensitive and overwhelmed by the entire day, but she needed to say something, wanted to say something.


Elliot: Goodnight, Ryosuke!

Elliot: ♡〜٩( ╹▿╹ )۶〜♡


I just typed hearts in an emoticon to a guy. 


Ryosuke: I just pulled into my driveway! I was going to text you to tell you that I was home!  ♡ ♡

Elliot: Oh, I’m glad you made it home safely! I’m sorry you couldn’t stay for a little while.

Ryosuke: No worries, Elliot…

Ryosuke:  I still don’t think you really understand.

Elliot: What’s that?

Elliot:  (⊙.☉)7

Ryosuke: I would want to stay.

Ryosuke:  (。◝‿◜。)

Elliot: Longer than you should since you have to get up early tomorrow?

Elliot:  (⊙_☉)

Ryosuke: No.

Ryosuke:  。゚.(*♡´◡` 人´◡` ♡*)゚ °・

Ryosuke: I’m concerned I might want to stay. Stay.

Ryosuke: (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

Elliot: What…


Elliot gasped when she realized what he was saying, pulling the blanket up to her neck and sinking down in her pillow–he meant he wanted to…stay. Stay. Her cheeks flamed red and she was completely alone. She felt so stupid and naive and she kicked her feet under her blanket, trying to not feel so flustered.

You’re alone in your room for goodness sake, calm down!


Elliot: OMG  (⌒_⌒;)

Ryosuke: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to be so forward.

Ryosuke: Well, I did, not gonna lie, but I shouldn’t have.


She admonished herself, because this was normal! It was okay to care about each other and even more okay to feel these kinds of feelings, and why shouldn’t they? Didn’t they agree to tell the truth!? And he was apologizing for telling the truth, the very last thing she wanted him to do.

Well, I can do this, I can tell the truth too.


Elliot: Be careful what you say, Ryosuke!

Elliot: (ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c)

Elliot: I might have just let you stay.

Elliot: ♡〜٩( ╹▿╹ )۶〜♡

Ryosuke: Now who’s being a tease!?

Elliot: Who said I was teasing?

Elliot:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Ryosuke: You’re killing me here…

Ryosuke: (° o°)!

Elliot: Okay, okay, you know, you should go to sleep, I want you to have a good day tomorrow! I’m sorry for teasing you, but not teasing you kind of teasing you!

Elliot:  (人-ω-)。o.゚。*・♡Good Night♡・*。゚o。(-ω-人)

Ryosuke: Sleep sweet, Elliot!

Ryosuke:  ( ˘ ³˘) (-, – )…zzzZZZ

Elliot: You sleep sweet too, Ryosuke!

Elliot:  (Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥(˘⌣˘ C)


She slept better that night than she thought she ever had, her dreams filled with beautiful words, and melodies and the boy who had come into her life like a whirlwind and stole her heart, and when she woke up the next morning she found a new message waiting for her.


Ryosuke:  I spent the entire night tossing and turning from entirely too real dreams. I blame you and your teasing! Have a good day, Elliot!  

Ryosuke:  (Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥(˘⌣˘ C) 

Ryosuke:  See you soon!!! ox

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